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简爱(英文版)-第50部分
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“She is far better as she is;” concluded Adèle; after musing some time: “besides; she would get tired of living with only you in the moon。 If I were mademoiselle; I would never consent to go with you。”
“She has consented: she has pledged her word。”
“But you can’t get her there; there is no road to the moon: it is all air; and neither you nor she can fly。”
“Adèle; look at that field。” We were now outside Thornfield gates; and bowling lightly along the smooth road to Millcote; where the dust was well laid by the thunderstorm; and; where the low hedges and lofty timber trees on each side glistened green and rain… refreshed。
“In that field; Adèle; I was walking late one evening about a fortnight since—the evening of the day you helped me to make hay in the orchard meadows; and; as I was tired with raking swaths; I sat down to rest me on a stile; and there I took out a little book and a pencil; and began to write about a misfortune that befell me long ago; and a wish I had for happy days to e: I was writing away very fast; though daylight was fading from the leaf; when something came up the path and stopped two yards off me。 I looked at it。 It was a little thing with a veil of gossamer on its head。 I beckoned it to e near me; it stood soon at my knee。 I never spoke to it; and it never spoke to me; in words; but I read its eyes; and it read mine; and our speechless colloquy was to this effect—
“It was a fairy; and e from Elf…land; it said; and its errand was to make me happy: I must go with it out of the mon world to a lonely place—such as the moon; for instance—and it nodded its head towards her horn; rising over Hay…hill: it told me of the alabaster cave and silver vale where we might live。 I said I should like to go; but reminded it; as you did me; that I had no wings to fly。
“‘Oh;’ returned the fairy; ‘that does not signify! Here is a talisman will remove all difficulties;’ and she held out a pretty gold ring。 ‘Put it;’ she said; ‘on the fourth finger of my left hand; and I am yours; and you are mine; and we shall leave earth; and make our own heaven yonder。’ She nodded again at the moon。 The ring; Adèle; is in my breeches…pocket; under the disguise of a sovereign: but I mean soon to change it to a ring again。”
“But what has mademoiselle to do with it? I don’t care for the fairy: you said it was mademoiselle you would take to the moon?”
“Mademoiselle is a fairy;” he said; whispering mysteriously。 Whereupon I told her not to mind his badinage; and she; on her part; evinced a fund of genuine French scepticism: denominating Mr。 Rochester “un vrai menteur;” and assuring him that she made no account whatever of his “contes de fee;” and that “du reste; il n’y avait pas de fées; et quand meme il y en avait:” she was sure they would never appear to him; nor ever give him rings; or offer to live with him in the moon。
The hour spent at Millcote was a somewhat harassing one to me。 Mr。 Rochester obliged me to go to a certain silk warehouse: there I was ordered to choose half…a…dozen dresses。 I hated the business; I begged leave to defer it: no—it should be gone through with now。 By dint of entreaties expressed in energetic whispers; I reduced the half…dozen to two: these however; he vowed he would select himself。 With anxiety I watched his eye rove over the gay stores: he fixed on a rich silk of the most brilliant amethyst dye; and a superb pink satin。 I told him in a new series of whispers; that he might as well buy me a gold gown and a silver bon at once: I should certainly never venture to wear his choice。 With infinite difficulty; for he was stubborn as a stone; I persuaded him to make an exchange in favour of a sober black satin and pearl…grey silk。 “It might pass for the present;” he said; “but he would yet see me glittering like a parterre。”
Glad was I to get him out of the silk warehouse; and then out of a jewellers shop: the more he bought me; the more my cheek burned with a sense of annoyance and degradation。 As we re…entered the carriage; and I sat back feverish and fagged; I remembered what; in the hurry of events; dark and bright; I had wholly forgotten—the letter of my uncle; John Eyre; to Mrs。 Reed: his intention to adopt me and make me his legatee。 “It would; indeed; be a relief;” I thought; “if I had ever so small an independency; I never can bear being dressed like a doll by Mr。 Rochester; or sitting like a second Danae with the golden shower falling daily round me。 I will write to Madeira the moment I get home; and tell my uncle John I am going to be married; and to whom: if I had but a prospect of one day bringing Mr。 Rochester an accession of fortune; I could better endure to be kept by him now。” And somewhat relieved by this idea (which I failed not to execute that day); I ventured once more to meet my master’s and lover’s eye; which most pertinaciously sought mine; though I averted both face and gaze。 He smiled; and I thought his smile was such as a sultan might; in a blissful and fond moment; bestow on a slave his gold and gems had enriched: I crushed his hand; which was ever hunting mine; vigorously; and thrust it back to him red with the passionate pressure。
“You need not look in that way;” I said; “if you do; I’ll wear nothing but my old Lowood frocks to the end of the chapter。 I’ll be married in this lilac gingham: you may make a dressing…gown for yourself out of the pearl…grey silk; and an infinite series of waistcoats out of the black satin。”
He chuckled; he rubbed his hands。 “Oh; it is rich to see and hear her?” he exclaimed。 “Is she original? Is she piquant? I would not exchange this one little English girl for the Grand Turk’s whole seraglio; gazelle…eyes; houri forms; and all!”
The Eastern allusion bit me again。 “I’ll not stand you an inch in the stead of a seraglio;” I said; “so don’t consider me an equivalent for one。 If you have a fancy for anything in that line; away with you; sir; to the bazaars of Stamboul without delay; and lay out in extensive slave…purchases some of that spare cash you seem at a loss to spend satisfactorily here。”
“And what will you do; Ja; while I am bargaining for so many tons of flesh and such an assortment of black eyes?”
“I’ll be preparing myself to go out as a missionary to preach liberty to them that are enslaved—your harem inmates amongst the rest。 I’ll get admitted there; and I’ll stir up mutiny; and you; three…tailed bashaw as you are; sir; shall in a trice find yourself fettered amongst our hands: nor will I; for one; consent to cut your bonds till you have signed a charter; the most liberal that despot ever yet conferred。”
“I would consent to be at your mercy; Jane。”
“I would have no mercy; Mr。 Rochester; if you supplicated for it with an eye like that。 While you looked so; I should be certain that whatever charter you might grant under coercion; your first act; when released; would be to violate its conditions。”
“Why; Jane; what would you have? I fear you will pel me to go through a private marriage ceremony; besides that performed at the altar。 You will stipulate; I see; for peculiar terms—what will they be?”
“I only want an easy mind; sir; not crushed by crowded obligations。 Do you remember what you said of Céline Varens?—of the diamonds; the cashmeres you gave her? I will not be your English Céline Varens。 I shall continue to act as Adèle’s governess; by that I shall earn my board and lodging; and thirty pounds a year besides。 I’ll furnish my own wardrobe out of that money; and you shall give me nothing but—”
“Well; but what?”
“Your regard; and if I give you mine in return; that debt will be quit。”
“Well; for cool native impudence and pure innate pride; you haven’t your equal;” said he。 We were now approaching Thornfield。 “Will it please you to dine with me to…day?” he asked; as we re…entered the gates。
“No; thank you; sir。”
“And what for; ‘no; thank you?’ if one may inquire。”
“I never have dined with you; sir: and I see no reason why I should now: till—”
“Till what? You delight in half…phrases。”
“Till I can’t help it。”
“Do you suppose I eat like an ogre or a ghoul; that you dread being the panion of my repast?”
“I have formed no supposition on the subject; sir; but I want to go on as usual for another month。”
“You will give up your governessing slavery at once。”
“Indeed; begging your pardon; sir; I shall not。 I shall just go on with it as usual。 I shall keep out of your way all day; as I have been accustomed to do: you may send for me in the evening; when you feel disposed to see me; and I’ll e then; but at no other time。”
“I want a smoke; Jane; or a pinch of snuff; to fort me under all this; ‘pour me donner une contenance;’ as Adèle would say; and unfortunately I have neither my cigar…case; nor my snuff…box。 But listen—whisper。 It is your time now; little tyrant; but it will be mine presently; and when once I have fairly seized you; to have and to hold; I’ll just—figuratively speaking—attach you to a chain like this” (touching his watch…guard)。 “Yes; bonny wee thing; I’ll wear you in my bosom; lest my jewel I should tyne。”
He said this as he helped me to alight from the carriage; and while he afterwards lifted out Adèle; I entered the house; and made good my retreat upstairs。
He duly summoned me to his presence in the evening。 I had prepared an occupation for him; for I was determined not to spend the whole time in a tête…à…tête conversation。 I remembered his fine voice; I knew he liked to sing—good singers generally do。 I was no vocalist myself; and; in his fastidious judgment; no musician; either; but I delighted in listening when the performance was good。 No sooner had twilight; that hour of romance; began to lower her blue and starry banner over the lattice; than I rose; opened the piano; and entreated him; for the love of heaven; to give me a song。 He said I was a capricious witch; and that he would rather sing another time; but I averred that no time was like the present。
“Did I like his voice?” he asked。
“Very much。” I was not fond of pampering that susceptible vanity of his; but for once; and from motives of expediency; I would e’en soothe and stimulate it。
“Then; Jane; you must play the acpaniment。”
“Very well; sir; I will try。”
I did try; but was presently swept off the stool and denominated “a little bungler。” Being pushed unceremoniously to one side—which was precisely what I wished—he usurped my place; and proceeded to acpany himself: for he could play as well as sing。 I hied me to the window…recess。 And while I sat there and looked out on the still trees and dim lawn; to a sweet air was sung in mellow tones the following strain:—
“The truest love that ever heart
Felt at its kindled core;
Did through each vein; in quickened start;
The tide of being pour。
Her ing was my hope each day;
Her parting was my pain;
The chance that did her steps delay
Was ice in every vein。
I dreamed it would be nameless bliss;
As I loved; loved to be;
And to this object did I press
As blind as eagerly。
But wide as pathless was the space
That lay our lives between;
And dangerous as the foamy race
Of ocean…surges green。
And haunted as a robber…path
Through wilderness or wood;
For Might and Right; and Woe and Wrath;
Between our spirits stood。
I dangers dared; I hindrance scorned;
I omens did defy:
Whatever menaced; harassed; warned;
I passed impetuous by。
On sped my rainbow; fast as light;
I flew as in a dream;
For glorious rose upon my sight
That child of Shower and Gleam。
Still bright on clouds of suffering dim
Shines that soft; solemn joy;
Nor care I now; how dense and grim
Disasters gather nigh。
I care not in this moment sweet;
Though all I have rushed o’er
Should e on pinion; strong and fleet;
Proclaiming vengeance sore:
Though haughty Hate should strike me down;
Right; bar approach to me;
And grinding Might; with furious frown;
Swear endless enmity。
My love has placed her little hand
With noble faith in mine;
And vowed that wedlock’s sacred band
Our nature shall entwine。
My love has sworn; with sealing kiss;
With me to live—to die;
I have at last my nameless bliss。
As I love—loved am I!”
He rose and came towards me; and I saw his face all kindled
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