快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！

erine　was　on　and　down　the　hall　to　her　room。　I　knocked　on　the　door。　There　was　no　answer。　I　opened　the　door；　the　room　was　empty；　except　for　Catherine's　bag　on　a　chair　and　her　dressing…gown　hanging　on　a　hook　on　the　wall。　I　went　out　and　down　the　hall；　looking　for　somebody。　I　found　a　nurse。
〃Where　is　Madame　Henry？〃
〃A　lady　has　just　gone　to　the　delivery　room。〃
〃Where　is　it？〃
〃I　will　show　you。〃
She　took　me　down　to　the　end　of　the　hall。　The　door　of　the　room　was　partly　open。　I　could　see　Catherine　lying　on　a　table；　covered　by　a　sheet。　The　nurse　was　on　one　side　and　the　doctor　stood　on　the　other　side　of　the　table　beside　some　cylinders。　The　doctor　held　a　rubber　mask　attached　to　a　tube　in　one　hand。
〃I　will　give　you　a　gown　and　you　can　go　in；〃　the　nurse　said。　〃e　in　here；　please。〃
She　put　a　white　gown　on　me　and　pinned　it　at　the　neck　in　back　with　a　safety　pin。
〃Now　you　can　go　in；〃　she　said。　I　went　into　the　room。
〃Hello；　darling；〃　Catherine　said　in　a　strained　voice。　〃I'm　not　doing　much。〃
〃You　are　Mr。　Henry？〃　the　doctor　asked。
〃Yes。　How　is　everything　going；　doctor？〃
〃Things　are　going　very　well；〃　the　doctor　said。　〃We　came　in　here　where　it　is　easy　to　give　gas　for　the　pains。〃
〃I　want　it　now；〃　Catherine　said。　The　doctor　placed　the　rubber　mask　over　her　face　and　turned　a　dial　and　I　watched　Catherine　breathing　deeply　and　rapidly。　Then　she　pushed　the　mask　away。　The　doctor　shut　off　the　petcock。
〃That　wasn't　a　very　big　one。　I　had　a　very　big　one　a　while　ago。　The　doctor　made　me　go　clear　out；　didn't　you；　doctor？〃　Her　voice　was　strange。　It　rose　on　the　word　doctor。
The　doctor　smiled。
〃I　want　it　again；〃　Catherine　said。　She　held　the　rubber　tight　to　her　face　and　breathed　fast。　I　heard　her　moaning　a　little。　Then　she　pulled　the　mask　away　and　smiled。
〃That　was　a　big　one；〃　she　said。　〃That　was　a　very　big　one。　Don't　you　worry；　darling。　You　go　away。　Go　have　another　breakfast。〃
〃I'll　stay；〃　I　said。
We　had　gone　to　the　hospital　about　three　o'clock　in　the　morning。　At　noon　Catherine　was　still　in　the　delivery　room。　The　pains　had　slackened　again。　She　looked　very　tired　and　worn　now　but　she　was　still　cheerful。
〃I'm　not　any　good；　darling；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　so　sorry。　I　thought　I　would　do　it　very　easily。　Now……there's　one……〃　she　reached　out　her　hand　for　the　mask　and　held　it　over　her　face。　The　doctor　moved　the　dial　and　watched　her。　In　a　little　while　it　was　over。
〃It　wasn't　much；〃　Catherine　said。　She　smiled。　〃I'm　a　fool　about　the　gas。　It's　wonderful。〃
〃We'll　get　some　for　the　home；〃　I　said。
〃There　one　es；〃　Catherine　said　quickly。　The　doctor　turned　the　dial　and　looked　at　his　watch。
〃What　is　the　interval　now？〃　I　asked。
〃About　a　minute。〃
〃Don't　you　want　lunch？〃
〃I　will　have　something　pretty　soon；〃　he　said。
〃You　must　have　something　to　eat；　doctor；〃　Catherine　said。　〃I'm　so　sorry　I　go　on　so　long。　Couldn't　my　husband　give　me　the　gas？〃
〃If　you　wish；〃　the　doctor　said。　〃You　turn　it　to　the　numeral　two。〃
〃I　see；〃　I　said。　There　was　a　marker　on　a　dial　that　turned　with　a　handle。
〃I　want　it　now；〃　Catherine　said。　She　held　the　mask　tight　to　her　face。　I　turned　the　dial　to　number　two　and　when　Catherine　put　down　the　mask　I　turned　it　off。　It　was　very　good　of　the　doctor　to　let　me　do　something。
〃Did　you　do　it；　darling？〃　Catherine　asked。　She　stroked　my　wrist。
〃Sure。〃
〃You're　so　lovely。〃　She　was　a　little　drunk　from　the　gas。
〃I　will　eat　from　a　tray　in　the　next　room；〃　the　doctor　said。　〃You　can　call　me　any　moment。〃　While　the　time　passed　I　watched　him　eat；　then；　after　a　while；　I　saw　that　he　was　lying　down　and　smoking　a　cigarette。　Catherine　was　getting　very　tired。
〃Do　you　think　I'll　ever　have　this　baby？〃　she　asked。
〃Yes；　of　course　you　will。〃
〃I　try　as　hard　as　I　can。　I　push　down　but　it　goes　away。　There　it　es。　Give　it　to　me。〃
At　two　o'clock　I　went　out　and　had　lunch。　There　were　a　few　men　in　the　caf？sitting　with　coffee　and　glasses　of　kirsch　or　marc　on　the　tables。　I　sat　down　at　a　table。　〃Can　I　eat？〃　I　asked　the　waiter。
〃It　is　past　time　for　lunch。〃
〃Isn't　there　anything　for　all　hours？〃
〃You　can　have　choucroute。〃
〃Give　me　choucroute　and　beer。〃
〃A　demi　or　a　bock？〃
〃A　light　demi。〃
The　waiter　brought　a　dish　of　sauerkraut　with　a　slice　of　ham　over　the　top　and　a　sausage　buried　in　the　hot　wine…soaked　cabbage。　I　ate　it　and　drank　the　beer。　I　was　very　hungry。　I　watched　the　people　at　the　tables　in　the　caf？　At　one　table　they　were　playing　cards。　Two　men　at　the　table　next　me　were　talking　and　smoking。　The　caf？was　full　of　smoke。　The　zinc　bar；　where　I　had　breakfasted；　had　three　people　behind　it　now；　the　old　man；　a　plump　woman　in　a　black　dress　who　sat　behind　a　counter　and　kept　track　of　everything　served　to　the　tables；　and　a　boy　in　an　apron。　I　wondered　how　many　children　the　woman　had　and　what　it　had　been　like。
When　I　was　through　with　the　choucroute　I　went　back　to　the　hospital。　The　street　was　all　clean　now。　There　were　no　refuse　cans　out。　The　day　was　cloudy　but　the　sun　was　trying　to　e　through。
I　rode　upstairs　in　the　elevator；　stepped　out　and　went　down　the　hail　to　Catherine's　room；　where　I　had　left　my　white　gown。　I　put　it　on　and　pinned　it　in　back　at　the　neck。　I　looked　in　the　glass　and　saw　myself　looking　like　a　fake　doctor　with　a　beard。　I　went　down　the　hail　to　the　delivery　room。　The　door　was　closed　and　I　knocked。　No　one　answered　so　I　turned　the　handle　and　went　in。　The　doctor　sat　by　Catherine。　The　nurse　was　doing　something　at　the　other　end　of　the　room。
〃Here　is　your　husband；〃　the　doctor　said。
〃Oh；　darling；　I　have　the　most　wonderful　doctor；〃　Catherine　said　in　a　very　strange　voice。　〃He's　been　telling　me　the　most　wonderful　story　and　when　the　pain　came　too　badly　he　put　me　all　the　way　out。　He's　wonderful。　You're　wonderful；　doctor。〃
〃You're　drunk；〃　I　said。
〃I　know　it；〃　Catherine　said。　〃But　you　shouldn't　say　it。〃　Then　〃Give　it　to　me。　Give　it　to　me。〃　She　clutched　hold　of　the　mask　and　breathed　short　and　deep；　pantingly；　making　the　respirator　click。　Then　she　gave　a　long　sigh　and　the　doctor　reached　with　his　left　hand　and　lifted　away　the　mask。
〃That　was　a　very　big　one；〃　Catherine　said。　Her　voice　was　very　strange。　〃I'm　not　going　to　die　now；　darling。　I'm　past　where　I　was　going　to　die。　Aren't　you　glad？〃
〃Don't　you　get　in　that　place　again。〃
〃I　won't。　I'm　not　afraid　of　it　though。　I　won't　die；　darling。〃
〃You　will　not　do　any　such　foolishness；〃　the　doctor　said。　〃You　would　not　die　and　leave　your　husband。〃
〃Oh；　no。　I　won't　die。　I　wouldn't　die。　It's　silly　to　die。　There　it　es。　Give　it　to　me。〃
After　a　while　the　doctor　said；　〃You　will　go　out；　Mr。　Henry；　for　a　few　moments　and　I　will　make　an　examination。〃
〃He　wants　to　see　how　I　am　doing；〃　Catherine　said。　〃You　can　e　back　afterward；　darling；　can't　he；　doctor？〃
〃Yes；〃　said　the　doctor。　〃I　will　send　word　when　he　can　e　back。〃
I　went　out　the　door　and　down　the　hall　to　the　room　where　Catherine　was　to　be　after　the　baby　came。　I　sat　in　a　chair　there　and　looked　at　the　room。　I　had　the　paper　in　my　coat　that　I　had　bought　when　I　went　out　for　lunch　and　I　read　it。　It　was　beginning　to　be　dark　outside　and　I　turned　the　light　on　to　read。　After　a　while　I　stopped　reading　and　turned　off　the　light　and　watched　it　get　dark　outside。　I　wondered　why　the　doctor　did　not　send　for　me。　Maybe　it　was　better　I　was　away。　He　probably　wanted　me　away　for　a　while。　I　looked　at　my　watch。　If　he　did　not　send　for　me　in　ten　minutes　I　would　go　down　anyway。
Poor；　poor　dear　Cat。　And　this　was　the　price　you　paid　for　sleeping　together。　This　was　the　end　of　the　trap。　This　was　what　people　got　for　loving　each　other。　Thank　God　for　gas；　anyway。　What　must　it　have　been　like　before　there　were　anaesthetics？　Once　it　started；　they　were　in　the　mill…race。　Catherine　had　a　good　time　in　the　time　of　pregnancy。　It　wasn't　bad。　She　was　hardly　ever　sick。　She　was　not　awfully　unfortable　until　toward　the　last。　So　now　they　got　her　in　the　end。　You　never　got　away　with　anything。　Get　away　hell！　It　would　have　been　the　same　if　we　had　been　married　fifty　times。　And　what　if　she　should　die？　She　won't　die。　People　don't　die　in　childbirth　nowadays。　That　was　what　all　husbands　thought。　Yes；　but　what　if　she　should　die？　She　won't　die。　She's　just　having　a　bad　time。　The　initial　labor　is　usually　protracted。　She's　only　having　a　bad　time。　Afterward　we'd　say　what　a　bad　time　and　Catherine　would　say　it　wasn't　really　so　bad。　But　what　if　she　should　die？　She　can't　die。　Yes；　but　what　if　she　should　die？　She　can't；　I　tell　you。　Don't　be　a　fool。　It's　just　a　bad　time。　It's　just　nature　giving　her　hell。　It's　only　the　first　labor；　which　is　almost　always　protracted。　Yes；　but　what　if　she　should　die？　She　can't　die。　Why　would　she　die？　What　reason　is　there　for　her　to　die？　There's　just　a　child　that　has　to　be　born；　the　by…product　of　good　nights　in　Milan。　It　makes　trouble　and　is　born　and　then　you　look　after　it　and　get　fond　of　it　maybe。　But　what　if　she　should　die？　She　won't　die。　But　what　if　she　should　die？　She　won't。　She's　all　right。　But　what　if　she　should　die？　She　can't　die。　But　what　if　she　should　die？　Hey；　what　about　that？　What　if　she　should　die？
The　doctor　came　into　the　room。
〃How　does　it　go；　doctor？〃
〃It　doesn't　go；〃　he　said。
〃What　do　you　mean？〃
〃Just　that。　I　made　an　examination……〃　He　detailed　the　result　of　the　examination。　〃Since　then　I've　waited　to　see。　But　it　doesn't　go。〃
〃What　do　you　advise？〃
〃There　are　two　things。　Either　a　high　forceps　delivery　which　can　tear　and　be　quite　dangerous　besides　being　possibly　bad　for　the　child；　and　a　Caesarean。〃
〃What　is　the　danger　of　a　Caesarean？〃　What　if　she　should　die！
〃It　should　be　no　greater　than　the　danger　of　an　ordinary　delivery。〃
〃Would　you　do　it　yourself？〃
〃Yes。　I　would　need　possibly　an　hour　to　get　things　ready　and　to　get　the　people　I　would　need。　Perhaps　a　little　less。〃
〃What　do　you　think？〃
〃I　would　advise　a　Caesarean　operation。　If　it　were　my　wife　I　would　do　a　Caesarean。〃
〃What　are　the　after　effects？〃
〃There　are　none。　There　is　only　the　scar。〃
〃What　about　infection？〃
〃The　danger　is　not　so　great　as　in　a　high　forceps　delivery。〃
〃What　if　you　just　went　on　and　did　nothing？〃
〃You　would　have　to　do　something　eventually。　Mrs。　Henry　is　already　losing　much　of　her　strength。　The　sooner　we　operate　now　the　safer。〃
〃Operate　as　soon　as　you　can；〃　I　said。
〃I　will　go　and　give　the　instructions。〃
I　went　into　the　delivery　room。　The　nurse　was　with　Catherine　who　lay　on　the　table；　big　under　the　sheet；　looking　very　pale　and　tired。
〃Did　you　tell　him　he　could　do　it？〃　she　asked。
〃Yes。〃
〃Isn't　that　grand。　Now　it　will　be　all　over　in　an　hour。　I'm　almost　done；　darling。　I'm　going　all　to　pieces。　Please　give　me　that。　It　doesn't　work。　Oh；　it　doesn't　work！〃
〃Breathe　deeply。〃
〃I　am。　Oh；　it　doesn't　work　any　more。　It　doesn't　work！〃
〃Get　another　cylinder；〃　I　said　to　the　nurse。
〃That　is　a　new　cylinder。〃
〃I'm　just　a　fool；　darling；〃　Catherine　said。　〃But　it　doesn't　work　any　more。〃　She　began　to　cry。　〃Oh；　I　wanted　so　to　have　this　baby　and　not　make　trouble；　and　now　I'm　all　done　and　all　gone　to　pieces　and　it　doesn't　work。　Oh；　darling；　it　doesn't　work　at　all。　I　don't　care　if　I　die　if　it　will　only　stop。　Oh；　please；　darling；　please　make　it　stop。　There　it　es。　Oh　Oh　Oh！〃　She　breathed　sobbingly　in　the　mask。
〃It　doesn't　work。　It　doesn't　work。　It　doesn't　work。　Don't　mind　me；　darling。　Please　don't　cry。　Don't　mind　me。　I'm　just　gone　all　to　pieces。　You　poor　sweet。　I　love　you　so　and　I'll　be　good　again。　I'll　be　good　this　time。　Can't　they　give　me　something？　If　they　could　only　give　me　something。〃
〃I'll　make　it　work。　I'll　turn　it　all　the　way。〃
〃Give　it　to　me　now。〃
I　turned　the　dial　all　the　way　and　as　she　breathed　hard　and　deep　her　hand　relaxed　on　the　mask。　I　shut　off　the　gas　and　lifted　the　mask。　She　came　back　from　a　long　way　away。
〃That　was　lovely；　darling。　Oh；　you're　so　good　to　me。〃
〃You　be　brave；　because　I　can't　do　that　all　the　time。　It　might　kill　you。〃
〃I'm　not　brave　any　more；　darling。　I'm　all　broken。　They've　broken　me。　I　know　it　now。〃
〃Everybody　is　that　way。〃
〃But　it's　awful。　They　just　keep　it　up　till　they　break　you。〃
〃In　an　hour　it　will　be　over。〃
〃Isn't　that　lovely？　Darling；　I　won't　die；　will　I？〃
〃No。　I　promise　you　won't。〃
〃Because　I　don't　want　to　die　and　leave　you；　but　I　get　so　tired　of　it　and　I　feel　I'm　going　to　die。〃
〃Nonsense。　Everybody　feels　that。〃
〃Sometimes　I　know　I'm　going　to　die。〃
〃You　won't。　You　can't。〃
〃But　what　if　I　should？〃
〃I　won't　let　you。〃
〃Give　it　to　me　quick。