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首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)-第55部分

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‘You know what I mean!’ said Colin; his face growing red。

‘D’you mean; am I shagging her?’ asked Fats。

Tessa’s little cry of ‘Stu!’ was drowned by Colin shouting; ‘How bloody dare you!’

Fats merely looked at Colin; smirking。 Everything about him was a taunt and a challenge。

‘What?’ said Fats。

‘Are you –’ Colin was struggling to find the words; growing redder all the time; ‘– are you sleeping with Krystal Weedon?’

‘It wouldn’t be a problem if I was; would it?’ Fats asked; and he glanced at his mother as he said it。 ‘You’re all for helping Krystal; aren’t you?’

‘Helping—’

‘Aren’t you trying to keep that addiction clinic open so you can help Krystal’s family?’

‘What’s that got to do—?’

‘I can’t see what the problem is with me going out with her。’

‘And are you going out with her?’ asked Tessa sharply。 If Fats wanted to take the row into this territory; she would meet him there。 ‘Do you actually go anywhere with her; Stuart?’

His smirk sickened her。 He was not prepared even to pretend to some decency。

‘Well; we don’t do it in either of our houses; do—’

Colin had raised one of his stiff; clench…fisted arms and swung it。 He connected with Fats’ cheek; and Fats; whose attention had been on his mother; was caught off guard; he staggered sideways; hit the desk and slid; momentarily; to the floor。 A moment later he had jumped to his feet again; but Tessa had already placed herself between the pair of them; facing her son。

Behind her; Colin was repeating; ‘You little bastard。 You little bastard。’

‘Yeah?’ said Fats; and he was no longer smirking。 ‘I’d rather be a little bastard than be you; you arsehole!’

‘No!’ shouted Tessa。 ‘Colin; get out。 Get out!’

Horrified; furious and shaken; Colin lingered for a moment; then marched from the room; they heard him stumble a little on the stairs。

‘How could you?’ Tessa whispered to her son。

‘How could I fucking what?’ said Stuart; and the look on his face alarmed her so much that she hurried to close and bar the bedroom door。

‘You’re taking advantage of that girl; Stuart; and you know it; and the way you just spoke to your—’

‘The fuck I am;’ said Fats; pacing up and down; every semblance of cool gone。 ‘The fuck I’m taking advantage of her。 She knows exactly what she wants – just because she lives in the fucking Fields; it doesn’t – the truth is; you and Cubby don’t want me to shag her because you think she’s beneath—’

‘That’s not true!’ said Tessa; even though it was; and for all her concern about Krystal; she would still have been glad to know that Fats had sense enough to wear a condom。

‘You’re fucking hypocrites; you and Cubby;’ he said; still pacing the length of the bedroom。 ‘All the bollocks the pair of you spout about wanting to help the Weedons; but you don’t want—’

‘That’s enough!’ shouted Tessa。 ‘Don’t you dare speak to me like that! Don’t you realise – don’t you understand – are you so damn selfish …?’

Words failed her。 She turned; tugged open his door and was gone; slamming it behind her。

Her exit had an odd effect on Fats; who stopped pacing and stared at the closed door for several seconds。 Then he searched his pockets; drew out a cigarette and lit it; not bothering to blow the smoke out of the skylight。 Round and round his room he walked; and he had no control of his own thoughts: jerky; unedited images filled his brain; sweeping past on a tide of fury。

He remembered the Friday evening; nearly a year previously; when Tessa had e up here to his bedroom to tell him that his father wanted to take him out to play football with Barry and his sons next day。

(‘What?’ Fats had been staggered。 The suggestion was unprecedented。

‘For fun。 A kick…around;’ Tessa had said; avoiding Fats’ glare by scowling down at the clothes littering the floor。

‘Why?’

‘Because Dad thought it might be nice;’ said Tessa; bending to pick up a school shirt。 ‘Declan wants a practice; or something。 He’s got a match。’

Fats was quite good at football。 People found it surprising; they expected him to dislike sport; to disdain teams。 He played as he talked; skilfully; with many a feint; fooling the clumsy; daring to take chances; unconcerned if they did not e off。

‘I didn’t even know he could play。’

‘Dad can play very well; he was playing twice a week when we met;’ said Tessa; riled。 ‘Ten o’clock tomorrow morning; all right? I’ll wash your tracksuit bottoms。’)

Fats sucked on his cigarette; remembering against his will。 Why had he gone along with it? Today; he would have simply refused to participate in Cubby’s little charade; but remained in bed until the shouting died away。 A year ago he had not yet understood about authenticity。

(Instead he had left the house with Cubby and endured a silent five…minute walk; each equally aware of the enormous shortfall that filled all the space between them。

The playing field belonged to St Thomas’s。 It had been sunny and deserted。 They had divided into two teams of three; because Declan had a friend staying for the weekend。 The friend; who clearly hero…worshipped Fats; had joined Fats and Cubby’s team。

Fats and Cubby passed to each other in silence; while Barry; easily the worst player; had yelled; cajoled and cheered in his Yarvil accent as he tore up and down the pitch they had marked out with sweatshirts。 When Fergus scored; Barry had run at him for a flying chest bump; mistimed it and smashed Fergus on the jaw with the top of his head。 The two of them had fallen to the ground; Fergus groaning in pain and laughing; while Barry sat apologizing through his roars of mirth。 Fats had found himself grinning; then heard Cubby’s awkward; booming laugh and turned away; scowling。

And then had e that moment; that cringeworthy; pitiful moment; with the scores equal and nearly time to go; when Fats had successfully wrested the ball from Fergus; and Cubby had shouted; ‘e on; Stu; lad!’

‘Lad。’ Cubby had never said ‘lad’ in his life。 It sounded pitiful; hollow and unnatural。 He was trying to be like Barry; imitating Barry’s easy; unself…conscious encouragement of his sons; trying to impress Barry。

The ball had flown like a cannon ball from Fats’ foot and there was time; before it hit Cubby full in his unsuspecting; foolish face; before his glasses cracked; and a single drop of blood bloomed beneath his eye; to realize his own intent; to know that he had hoped to hit Cubby; and that the ball had been dispatched for retribution。)

They had never played football again。 The doomed little experiment in father…son togetherness had been shelved; like a dozen before it。

And I never wanted him at all!

He was sure he had heard it。 Cubby must have been talking about him。 They had been in his room。 Who else could Cubby have been talking about?

Like I give a shit; thought Fats。 It was what he’d always suspected。 He did not know why this sensation of spreading cold had filled his chest。

Fats pulled the puter chair back into position; from the place where it had been knocked when Cubby had hit him。 The authentic reaction would have been to shove his mother out of the way and punch Cubby in the face。 Crack his glasses again。 Make him bleed。 Fats was disgusted with himself that he had not done it。

But there were other ways。 He had overheard things for years。 He knew much more about his father’s ludicrous fears than they thought。

Fats’ fingers were clumsier than usual。 Ash spilt onto the keyboard from the cigarette in his mouth as he brought up the Parish Council website。 Weeks previously; he had looked up SQL injections and found the line of code that Andrew had refused to share。 After studying the council message board for a few minutes; he logged himself in; without difficulty; as Betty Rossiter; changed her username to The_Ghost_of_Barry_Fairbrother; and began to type。

V
Shirley Mollison was convinced that her husband and son were over…stating the danger to the council of leaving the Ghost’s posts online。 She could not see how the messages were worse than gossip; and that; she knew; was not yet punishable by law; nor did she believe that the law would be foolish and unreasonable enough to punish her for what somebody else had written: that would be monstrously unfair。 Proud as she was of Miles’ law degree; she was sure that he must have this bit wrong。

She was checking the message boards even more frequently than Miles and Howard had advised; but not because she was afraid of legal consequences。 Certain as she was that Barry Fairbrother’s Ghost had not yet finished his self…appointed task of crushing the pro…Fielders; she was eager to be the first to set eyes on his next post。 Several times a day she scurried into Patricia’s old room; and clicked on the web page。 Sometimes a little frisson would run through her while she was hoovering or peeling potatoes and she would race to the study; only to be disappointed again。

Shirley felt a special; secret kinship with the Ghost。 He had chosen her website as the forum where he would expose the hypocrisy of Howard’s opponents; and this; she felt; entitled her to the pride of the naturalist who has constructed a habitat in which a rare species deigns to nest。 But there was more to it than that。 Shirley relished the Ghost’s anger; his savagery and his audacity。 She wondered who he might be; visualizing a strong; shadowy man standing behind herself and Howard; on their side; cutting a path for them through the opponents who crumpled as he slayed them with their own ugly truths。

Somehow; none of the men in Pagford seemed worthy to be the Ghost; she would have felt disappointed to learn that it was any of the anti…Fielders she knew。

‘That’s if it’s a man;’ said Maureen。

‘Good point;’ said Howard。

‘I think it’s a man;’ said Shirley coolly。

When Howard left for the café on Sunday morning; Shirley; still in her dressing gown; and holding her cup of tea; padded automatically to the study and brought up the website。

Fantasies of a Deputy Headmaster posted by The_Ghost_of_Barry_Fairbrother。

She set down her tea with trembling hands; clicked on the post and read it; open…mouthed。 Then she ran to the lounge; seized the telephone and called the café; but the number was engaged。

A mere five minutes later; Parminder Jawanda; who had also developed a habit of looking at the council message boards much more frequently than usual; opened up the site and saw the post。 Like Shirley; her immediate reaction was to seize a telephone。

The Walls were breakfasting without their son; who was still asleep upstairs。 When Tessa picked up; Parminder cut across her friend’s greeting。

‘There’s a post about Colin on the council website。 Don’t let him see it; whatever you do。’

Tessa’s frightened eyes swivelled to her husband; but he was a mere three feet from the receiver and had already heard every word that Parminder had spoken so loudly and clearly。

‘I’ll call you back;’ said Tessa urgently。 ‘Colin;’ she said; fumbling to replace the receiver; ‘Colin; wait—’

But he had already stalked out of the room; bobbing up and down; his arms stiff by his side; and Tessa had to jog to catch him up。

‘Perhaps it’s better not to look;’ she urged him; as his big; knobble…knuckled hand moved the mouse across the desk; ‘or I can read it and—’

Fantasies of a Deputy Headmaster

One of the men hoping to represent the munity at Parish Council level is Colin Wall; Deputy Headmaster at Winterdown prehensive School。 Voters might be interested to know that Wall; a strict disciplinarian; has a very unusual fantasy life。 Mr Wall is so frightened that a pupil might accuse him of inappropriate sexual behaviour that he has often needed time off work to calm himself down again。 Whether Mr Wall has actually fondled a first year; the Ghost can only guess。 The fervour of his feverish fantasies suggests that; even if he hasn’t; he would like to。

Stuart wrote that; thought Tessa; at once。

Colin’s face was ghastly in the light pouring out of the monitor。 It was how she imagined he would look if he had had a stroke。

‘Colin—’

‘I suppose Fiona Shawcross has told people;’ he whispered
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