快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！

l　kept　hers　in　a　box　she　had　stolen　from　Nikki’s　house。　Krystal　was　much　given　to　sneaking　things　into　her　pockets　that　belonged　to　people　she　liked。　This　box　was　plastic　and　decorated　with　roses：　a　child’s　jewellery　box；　really。　Tessa’s　watch　was　curled　up　inside　it　now）。

The　best　time　of　all　had　been　when　they’d　beaten　those　snotty　little　bitches　from　St　Anne’s；　that　day　had　been　the　very　best　of　Krystal’s　life。　The　headmistress　had　called　the　team　up　in　front　of　the　whole　school　at　the　next　assembly　（Krystal　had　been　a　bit　mortified：　Nikki　and　Leanne　had　been　laughing　at　her）　but　then　everyone　had　applauded　them　…　it　had　meant　something；　that　Winterdown　had　hammered　St　Anne’s。

But　it　was　all　finished；　all　over；　the　trips　in　the　car　and　the　rowing　and　the　talking　to　the　local　newspaper。　She　had　liked　the　idea　of　being　in　the　newspaper　again。　Mr　Fairbrother　had　said　he　was　going　to　be　there　with　her　when　it　happened。　Just　the　two　of　them。

‘What　will　they　wanna　talk　to　me　abou’；　like？’

‘Your　life。　They’re　interested　in　your　life。’

Like　a　celebrity。　Krystal　had　no　money　for　magazines；　but　she　saw　them　in　Nikki’s　house　and　at　the　doctor’s；　if　she　took　Robbie。　This　would　have　been　even　better　than　being　in　the　paper　with　the　team。　She　had　burst　with　excitement　at　the　prospect；　but　somehow　she　had　managed　to　keep　her　mouth　shut　and　had　not　even　boasted　about　it　to　Nikki　or　Leanne。　She　had　wanted　to　surprise　them。　It　was　as　well　she　had　not　said　anything。　She　would　never　be　in　the　paper　again。

There　was　a　hollowness　in　Krystal’s　stomach。　She　tried　not　to　think　any　more　about　Mr　Fairbrother　as　she　moved　around　the　house；　cleaning　inexpertly　but　doggedly；　while　her　mother　sat　in　the　kitchen；　smoking　and　staring　out　of　the　back　window。

Shortly　before　midday；　a　woman　pulled　up　outside　the　house　in　an　old　blue　Vauxhall。　Krystal　caught　sight　of　her　from　Robbie’s　bedroom　window。　The　visitor　had　very　short　dark　hair　and　was　wearing　black　trousers；　a　beaded；　ethnic　sort　of　necklace；　and　carrying　a　large　tote　bag　over　her　shoulder　that　seemed　to　be　full　of　files。

Krystal　ran　downstairs。

‘I　think　it’s　’er；’　she　called　to　Terri；　who　was　in　the　kitchen。　‘The　social。’

The　woman　knocked　and　Krystal　opened　the　door。

‘Hello；　I’m　Kay；　I’m　covering　for　Mattie？　You　must　be　Krystal。’

‘Yeah；’　said　Krystal；　not　bothering　to　return　Kay’s　smile。　She　showed　her　into　the　sitting　room　and　saw　her　take　in　its　new；　ramshackle　tidiness：　the　emptied　ashtray；　and　most　of　the　stuff　that　had　been　lying　around　was　crammed　onto　the　broken　shelves。　The　carpet　was　still　filthy；　because　the　Hoover　did　not　work；　and　the　towel　and　the　zinc　ointment　were　lying　on　the　floor；　with　one　of　Robbie’s　matchbox　cars　perched　on　top　of　the　plastic　tub。　Krystal　had　tried　to　distract　Robbie　with　the　car　while　she　scraped　his　bottom　clean。

‘Robbie’s　at　nursery；’　Krystal　told　Kay。　‘I’ve　took　’im。　I’ve　put　’im　back　in　pants。　She　keeps　puttin’　’im　back　in　pull…ups。　I’ve　told　’er　not　to。　I　put　cream　on　his　bum。　It’ll　be　all　right；　it’s　on’y　nappy　rash。’

Kay　smiled　at　her　again。　Krystal　peered　around　the　doorway　and　shouted；　‘Mum！’

Terri　joined　them　from　the　kitchen。　She　was　wearing　a　dirty　old　sweatshirt　and　jeans；　and　looked　better　for　being　more　covered　up。

‘Hello；　Terri；’　said　Kay。

‘All　righ’？’　said　Terri；　taking　a　deep　drag　from　her　cigarette。

‘Siddown；’　Krystal　instructed　her　mother；　who　obeyed；　curling　up　in　the　same　chair　as　before。　‘D’yer　wanna　cup　of　tea　or　summat？’　Krystal　asked　Kay。

‘That’d　be　great；’　said　Kay；　sitting　down　and　opening　her　folder。　‘Thanks。’

Krystal　hurried　out　of　the　room。　She　was　listening　carefully；　trying　to　make　out　what　Kay　was　saying　to　her　mother。

‘You　probably　weren’t　expecting　to　see　me　again　this　soon；　Terri；’　she　heard　Kay　say　（she　had　a　strange　accent：　it　sounded　like　a　London　one；　like　the　posh　new　bitch　at　school　half　the　boys　had　stiffies　for）；　‘but　I　was　quite　concerned　about　Robbie　yesterday。　He’s　back　at　nursery　today；　Krystal　says？’

‘Yeah；’　said　Terri。　‘She　took　’im。　She　e　back　this　morning。’

‘She’s　e　back？　Where　has　she　been？’

‘I　jus’　bin　at　a　–　jus’　slep’　over　at　a　friend’s；’　said　Krystal；　hurrying　back　to　the　sitting　room　to　speak　for　herself。

‘Yeah；　bu’　she　e　back　this　morning；’　said　Terri。

Krystal　went　back　to　the　kettle。　It　made　such　a　racket　as　it　came　to　the　boil　that　she　could　not　make　out　any　of　what　her　mother　and　the　social　worker　were　saying　to　each　other。　She　sloshed　milk　into　the　mugs　with　the　teabags；　trying　to　be　as　quick　as　possible；　then　carried　the　three　red…hot　mugs　through　to　the　sitting　room　in　time　to　hear　Kay　say；　‘…　spoke　to　Mrs　Harper　at　the　nursery　yesterday—’

‘Tha’　bitch；’　said　Terri。

‘There　y’are；’　Krystal　told　Kay；　setting　the　teas　on　the　floor　and　turning　one　of　the　mugs　so　that　its　handle　faced　her。

‘Thanks　very　much；’　Kay　said。　‘Terri；　Mrs　Harper　told　me　that　Robbie　has　been　absent　a　lot　over　the　last　three　months。　He　hasn’t　had　a　full　week　for　a　while；　has　he？’

‘Wha’？’　said　Terri。　‘No；　’e　ain’。　Yeah；　’e　’as。　’E　only　jus’　mist　yesterday。　An’　when　’e　had　his　sore　throat。’

‘When　was　that？’

‘Wha’？　Monf　’go　…　monf’na　’alf　…　’bout。’

Krystal　sat　down　on　the　arm　of　her　mother’s　chair。　She　glared　down　at　Kay　from　her　position　of　height；　energetically　chewing　gum；　her　arms　folded　like　her　mother’s。　Kay　had　a　thick　open　folder　on　her　lap。　Krystal　hated　folders。　All　the　stuff　they　wrote　about　you；　and　kept；　and　used　against　you　afterwards。

‘I　takes　Robbie　to　the　nurs’ry；’　she　said。　‘On　my　way　to　school。’

‘Well；　according　to　Mrs　Harper；　Robbie’s　attendance　has　fallen　off　quite　a　bit；’　said　Kay；　looking　down　the　notes　she　had　made　of　her　conversation　with　the　nursery　manager。　‘The　thing　is；　Terri；　you　did　mit　to　keeping　Robbie　in　pre…school　when　he　was　returned　to　you　last　year。’

‘I　ain’　fuckin’—’　Terri　began。

‘No；　shurrup；　righ’？’　Krystal　said　loudly　to　her　mother。　She　addressed　Kay。　‘He　were　ill；　righ’；　his　tonsils　were　all　up；　I　got　’im　antibiotics　off　the　doctor。’

‘And　when　was　that？’

‘Tha’　was　’bout　free　weeks　–　anyway；　righ’—’

‘When　I　was　here　yesterday；’　Kay　said；　addressing　Robbie’s　mother　again　（Krystal　was　chewing　vigorously；　her　arms　making　a　double　barrier　around　her　ribs）；　‘you　seemed　to　be　finding　it　very　difficult　to　respond　to　Robbie’s　needs；　Terri。’

Krystal　glanced　down　at　her　mother。　Her　spreading　thigh　was　twice　as　thick　as　Terri’s。

‘I　di’n’　–　I　never　…’　Terri　changed　her　mind。　‘’E’s　fine。’

A　suspicion　darkened　Krystal’s　mind　like　the　shadow　of　some　circling　vulture。

‘Terri；　you’d　used　when　I　arrived　yesterday；　hadn’t　you？’

‘No；　I　fuckin’　hadn’！　Tha’s　a　fuckin’　–　you’re　fuckin’　–　I　ain’　used；　all　righ’？’

A　weight　was　pressing　on　Krystal’s　lungs　and　her　ears　were　ringing。　Obbo　must　have　given　her　mother；　not　a　single　bag；　but　a　bundle。　The　social　worker　had　seen　her　blasted。　Terri　would　test　positive　at　Bellchapel　next　time；　and　they　would　chuck　her　out　again　…

（　…　and　without　methadone；　they　would　return　again　to　that　nightmare　place　where　Terri　became　feral；　when　she　would　again　start　opening　her　broken…toothed　mouth　for　strangers’　dicks；　so　she　could　feed　her　veins。　And　Robbie　would　be　taken　away　again；　and　this　time　he　might　not　e　back。　In　a　little　red　plastic　heart　hanging　from　the　key…ring　in　Krystal’s　pocket　was　a　picture　of　Robbie；　aged　one。　Krystal’s　real　heart　had　started　pounding　the　way　it　did　when　she　rowed　full　stretch；　pulling；　pulling　through　the　water；　her　muscles　singing；　watching　the　other　crew　slide　backwards　…　）

‘You　fuckin’；’　she　shouted；　but　nobody　heard　her；　because　Terri　was　still　bawling　at　Kay；　who　sat　with　her　mug　held　in　her　hands；　looking　unmoved。

‘I　ain’　fuckin’　used；　you　ain’　go’　no　proof—’

‘You　fuckin’　stupid；’　said　Krystal；　louder。

‘I　ain’　fuckin’　used；　tha’s　a　fuckin’　lie；’　screamed　Terri；　an　animal　snared　in　a　；　thrashing　around；　tangling　herself　tighter。　‘I　never　fuckin’　did；　righ’；　I　never—’

‘They’ll　kick　you　out　the　fuckin’　clinic　again；　you　stupid　fuckin’　bitch！’

‘Don’　you　dare　fuckin’　talk　ter　me　like　tha’！’

‘All　right；’　said　Kay　loudly　over　the　din；　putting　her　mug　back　on　the　floor　and　standing　up；　scared　at　what　she　had　unleashed；　then　she　shouted　‘Terri！’　in　real　alarm；　as　Terri　hoisted　herself　up　in　the　chair　to　half　crouch　on　its　other　arm；　facing　her　daughter；　like　two　gargoyles　they　were　almost　nose　to　nose；　screaming。

‘Krystal！’　cried　Kay；　as　Krystal　raised　her　fist。

Krystal　flung　herself　violently　off　the　chair；　away　from　her　mother。　She　was　surprised　to　feel　warm　liquid　flowing　down　her　cheeks；　and　thought　confusedly　of　blood；　but　it　was　tears；　only　tears；　clear　and　shining　on　her　fingertips　when　she　wiped　them　away。

‘All　right；’　said　Kay；　unnerved。　‘Let’s　calm　down；　please。’

‘You　fuckin’　calm　down；’　Krystal　said。　Shaking；　she　wiped　her　face　with　her　forearm；　then　marched　back　over　to　her　mother’s　chair。　Terri　flinched；　but　Krystal　merely　snatched　up　the　cigarette　packet；　slid　out　the　last　cigarette　and　a　lighter；　and　lit　up。　Puffing　on　the　cigarette；　she　walked　away　from　her　mother　to　the　window　and　turned　her　back；　trying　to　press　away　more　tears　before　they　fell。

‘OK；’　said　Kay；　still　standing；　‘if　we　can　talk　about　this　calmly—’

‘Oh；　fuck　off；’　said　Terri　dully。

‘This　is　about　Robbie；’　Kay　said。　She　was　still　on　her　feet；　scared　to　relax。　‘That’s　what　I’m　here　for。　To　make　sure　that　Robbie　is　all　right。’

‘So　’e　missed　fuckin’　nursery；’　said　Krystal；　from　the　window。　‘Tha’s　norra　fuckin’　crime。’

‘…　norra　fuckin’　crime；’　agreed　Terri；　in　a　dim　echo。

‘This　isn’t　only　about　nursery；’　said　Kay。　‘Robbie　was　unfortable　and　sore　when　I　saw　him　yesterday。　He’s　much　too　old　to　be　wearing　a　nappy。’

‘I　took　’im　outta　the　fuckin’　nappy；　’e’s　in　pants　now；　I　toldja！’　said　Krystal　furiously。

‘I’m　sorry；　Terri；’　said　Kay；　‘but　you　weren’t　in　any　fit　condition　to　have　sole　charge　of　a　small　child。’

‘I　never—’

‘You　can　keep　telling　me　you　haven’t　used；’　Kay　said；　and　Krystal　heard　something　real　and　human　in　Kay’s　voice　for　the　first　time：　exasperation；　irritation。　‘But　you’re　going　to　be　tested　at　the　clinic。　We　both　know　you’re　going　to　test　positive。　They’re　saying　it’s　your　last　chance；　that　they’ll　throw　you　out　again。’

Terri　wiped　her　mouth　with　the　back　of　her　hand。

‘Look；　I　can　see　neither　of　you　wants　to　lose　Robbie—’

‘Don’　fuckin’　take　him　away；　then！’　shouted　Krystal。

‘It’s　not　as　simple　as　that；’　said　Kay。　She　sat　down　again　and　lifted　the　heavy　folder　back　onto　her　lap　from　the　floor　where　it　had　fallen。　‘When　Robbie　came　back　to　you　last　year；　Terri；　you　were　off　the　heroin。　You　made　a　big　mitment　to　staying　clean　and　going　through　the　programme；　and　you　agreed　to　certain　other　things；　like　keeping　Robbie　in　nursery—’

‘Yeh；　an’　I　took　’im—’

‘—for　a　bit；’　said　Kay。　‘For　a　bit　you　did；　but；　Terri；　a　token　effort　isn’t　enough。　After　what　I　found　when　I　called　here　yesterday；　and　after　talking　to　your　key　drug　worker　and　to　Mrs　Harper；　I’m　afraid　I　think　we　need　to　have　another　look　at　how　things　are　working。’

‘What’s　that　mean？’　said　Krystal。　‘Another　fuckin’　case　review；　is　it？　Why’djer　need　one；　though？　Why’djer　need　one？　He’s　all　righ’；　I’m　lookin’　after　–　fuckin’　shurrup！’　she　screamed　at　Terri；　who　was　trying　to　shout　along　from　her　chair。　‘She　ain’　–　I’m　lookin’　after　’im；　all　righ’？’　she　bellowed　at　Kay；　pink　in　the　face；　her　heavily　kohled　eyes　brimming　with　tears　of　anger；　jabbing　a　finger　at　her　own　chest。

Krystal　had　visited　Robbie　regularly　at　his　foster　parents　during　the　month　he　had　been　away　from　them。　He　had　clung　to　her；　wanted　her　to　stay　for　tea；　cried　when　she　left。　It　had　been　like　having　half　your　guts　cut　out　of　you　and　held　hostage。　Krystal　had　wanted　Robbie　to　go　to　Nana　Cath’s；　the　way　she　had　gone　all　those　times　in　her　childhood；　whenever　Terri　had　fallen　apart。　But　Nana　Cath　was