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‘In　what　way？’

‘Well　…　you　know　…　helping。’

She　closed　her　eyes　and　massaged　the　bridge　of　her　nose　and　her　eyelids　with　her　thumb　and　forefinger。

‘I　always　thought　he　seemed　a　bit　unreliable；’　said　Colin’s　voice。

‘Really？’　said　Tessa；　from　the　depths　of　her　voluntary　darkness。

‘Yes。　Remember　when　he　said　he’d　e　and　referee　for　that　game　against　Paxton　High？　And　he　cancelled　with　about　half　an　hour’s　notice　and　Bateman　had　to　do　it　instead？’

Tessa　fought　down　an　impulse　to　snap。　Colin　had　a　habit　of　making　sweeping　judgements　based　on　first　impressions；　on　single　actions。　He　never　seemed　to　grasp　the　immense　mutability　of　human　nature；　nor　to　appreciate　that　behind　every　nondescript　face　lay　a　wild　and　unique　hinterland　like　his　own。

‘Well；　he’s　being　lovely　with　the　kids；’　said　Tessa　carefully。　‘I’ve　got　to　go　to　bed。’
。电子书
She　did　not　move；　but　sat　concentrating　on　the　separate　aches　in　different　parts　of　her　body：　in　her　feet；　her　lower　back；　her　shoulders。

‘Tess；　I’ve　been　thinking。’

‘Hmm？’

Glasses　shrank　Colin’s　eyes　to　mole…like　proportions；　so　that　the　high；　balding　knobbly　forehead　seemed　even　more　pronounced。

‘Everything　Barry　was　trying　to　do　on　the　Parish　Council。　Everything　he　was　fighting　for。　The　Fields。　The　addiction　clinic。　I’ve　been　thinking　about　it　all　day。’　He　drew　a　deep　inward　breath。　‘I’ve　pretty　much　decided　that　I’m　going　to　take　over　for　him。’

Misgivings　crashed　over　Tessa；　pinning　her　to　her　chair；　rendering　her　momentarily　speechless。　She　struggled　to　keep　her　expression　professionally　neutral。

‘I’m　sure　it’s　what　Barry　would　have　wanted；’　said　Colin。　His　strange　excitement　was　tinged　with　defensiveness。

Never；　said　Tessa’s　most　honest　self；　never　for　a　second　would　Barry　have　wanted　you　to　do　this。　He　would　have　known　you　are　the　very　last　person　who　ought　to　do　it。

‘Gosh；’　she　said。　‘Well。　I　know　Barry　was　very　…　but　it　would　be　a　huge　mitment；　Colin。　And　it’s　not　as　though　Parminder’s　gone。　She’s　still　there；　and　she’ll　still　be　trying　to　do　everything　Barry　wanted。’

I　should　have　phoned　Parminder；　thought　Tessa　as　she　said　it；　with　a　guilty　bump　in　her　stomach。　Oh；　God；　why　didn’t　I　think　to　call　Parminder？

‘But　she’ll　need　support；　she’ll　never　be　able　to　stand　up　to　them　all　on　her　own；’　said　Colin。　‘And　I　guarantee　Howard　Mollison　will　be　lining　up　some　puppet　to　replace　Barry　right　now。　He’s　probably　already—’

‘Oh；　Colin—’

‘I　bet　he　has！　You　know　what　he’s　like！’

The　papers　in　Colin’s　lap　fell；　disregarded；　in　a　smooth　white　waterfall　onto　the　floor。

‘I　want　to　do　this　for　Barry。　I’ll　take　over　where　he　left　off。　I’ll　make　sure　everything　he　worked　for　doesn’t　go　up　in　smoke。　I　know　the　arguments。　He　always　said　he　got　opportunities　he’d　never　have　had　otherwise；　and　look　how　much　he　gave　back　to　the　munity。　I’m　definitely　going　to　stand。　I’m　going　to　look　into　what　I’ve　got　to　do；　tomorrow。’

‘All　right；’　said　Tessa。　Years　of　experience　had　taught　her　that　Colin　ought　not　to　be　opposed　in　the　first　throes　of　his　enthusiasm；　or　it　would　simply　entrench　him　in　his　determination　to　proceed。　Those　same　years　had　taught　Colin　that　Tessa　often　pretended　to　agree　before　raising　objections。　These　kinds　of　exchanges　were　always　infused　with　their　mutual；　unexpressed　remembrance　of　that　long…buried　secret。　Tessa　felt　that　she　owed　him。　He　felt　that　he　was　owed。

‘This　is　something　I　really　want　to　do；　Tessa。’

‘I　understand　that；　Colin。’

She　pulled　herself　out　of　the　chair；　wondering　whether　she　would　have　the　energy　to　get　upstairs。

‘Are　you　ing　to　bed？’

‘In　a　minute。　I　want　to　finish　looking　through　these　first。’

He　was　gathering　up　the　printed　sheets　he　had　let　fall；　his　reckless　new　project　seemed　to　be　giving　him　a　feverish　energy。

Tessa　undressed　slowly　in　their　bedroom。　Gravity　seemed　to　have　bee　more　powerful；　it　was　such　an　effort　to　lift　her　limbs；　to　force　her　recalcitrant　zip　to　do　as　she　wished。　She　pulled　on　her　dressing　gown　and　went　into　the　bathroom；　where　she　could　hear　Fats　moving　around　overhead。　She　often　felt　lonely　and　drained　these　days；　shuttling　between　her　husband　and　son；　who　seemed　to　exist　entirely　independently；　as　alien　to　each　other　as　landlord　and　lodger。

Tessa　went　to　take　off　her　wristwatch；　then　realized　that　she　had　mislaid　it　yesterday。　So　tired　…　she　kept　losing　things　…　and　how　could　she　have　forgotten　to　call　Parminder？　Tearful；　worried　and　tense；　she　shuffled　off　to　bed。

Wednesday
I
Krystal　Weedon　had　spent　Monday　and　Tuesday　nights　on　her　friend　Nikki’s　bedroom　floor　after　an　especially　bad　fight　with　her　mother。　This　had　started　when　Krystal　arrived　home　from　hanging　out　with　her　mates　at　the　precinct　and　found　Terri　talking　to　Obbo　on　the　doorstep。　Everyone　in　the　Fields　knew　Obbo；　with　his　bland　puffy　face　and　his　gap…toothed　grin；　his　bottle…bottom　glasses　and　his　filthy　old　leather　jacket。

‘Jus’　keep　’em　’ere　fer　us；　Ter；　fer　a　coupla　days？　Few　quid　in　it　for　yeh？’

‘Wha’s　she　keepin’？’　Krystal　had　demanded。　Robbie　scrambled　out　from　between　Terri’s　legs　to　cling　tightly　to　Krystal’s　knees。　Robbie　did　not　like　men　ing　to　the　house。　He　had　good　reason。

‘Nuthin’。　pu’ers。’

‘Don’；’　Krystal　had　said　to　Terri。

She　did　not　want　her　mother　to　have　spare　cash。　She　would　not　have　put　it　past　Obbo　to　cut　out　the　middle　step　and　pay　her　for　the　favour　with　a　bag　of　smack。

‘Don’　take　’em。’

But　Terri　had　said　yes。　All　Krystal’s　life；　her　mother　had　said　yes　to　everything　and　everyone：　agreeing；　accepting；　forever　acquiescing：　yeah；　all　righ’；　go　on　then；　’ere　yeh　go；　no　problem。

Krystal　had　gone　to　hang　out　at　the　swings　under　a　darkening　sky　with　her　friends。　She　felt　strained　and　irritable。　She　could　not　seem　to　grasp　the　fact　of　Mr　Fairbrother’s　death；　but　kept　experiencing　punches　to　the　stomach　that　made　her　want　to　lash　out　at　somebody。　She　was　also　unsettled　and　guilty　about　having　stolen　Tessa　Wall’s　watch。　But　why　had　the　silly　bitch　put　it　there　in　front　of　Krystal　and　closed　her　eyes？　What　did　she　expect？

Being　with　the　others　did　not　help。　Jemma　kept　needling　her　about　Fats　Wall；　finally　Krystal　exploded　and　lunged　at　her；　Nikki　and　Leanne　had　to　hold　Krystal　back。　So　Krystal　stormed　home；　to　find　that　Obbo’s　puters　had　arrived。　Robbie　was　trying　to　climb　the　stacked　boxes　in　the　front　room；　while　Terri　sat　there　in　dazed　oblivion；　her　works　lying　out　on　the　floor。　As　Krystal　had　feared；　Obbo　had　paid　Terri　with　a　bag　of　heroin。

‘You　stupid　fuckin’　junkie　bitch；　they’ll　kick　yer　ou’　the　fuckin’　clinic　again！’

But　heroin　took　Krystal’s　mother　where　she　was　beyond　reach。　Though　she　responded　by　calling　Krystal　a　little　bitch　and　a　whore；　it　was　with　vacant　detachment。　Krystal　slapped　Terri　across　the　face。　Terri　told　her　to　fuck　off　and　die。

‘You　fuckin’　look　after　him　fer　a　fuckin’　change　then；　you　useless　fuckin’　smackhead　cow！’　Krystal　screamed。　Robbie　ran　howling　up　the　hall　after　her；　but　she　slammed　the　front　door　on　him。

Krystal　liked　Nikki’s　house　better　than　any　other。　It　was　not　as　tidy　as　her　Nana　Cath’s；　but　it　was　friendlier；　fortingly　loud　and　busy。　Nikki　had　two　brothers　and　a　sister；　so　Krystal　slept　on　a　folded…up　duvet　between　the　sisters’　beds。　The　walls　were　covered　with　pictures　cut　out　of　magazines；　arranged　as　a　collage　of　desirable　boys　and　beautiful　girls。　It　had　never　occurred　to　Krystal　to　embellish　her　own　bedroom　walls。

But　guilt　was　clawing　at　her　insides；　she　kept　remembering　Robbie’s　terrified　face　as　she　slammed　the　door　on　him；　so　on　Wednesday　morning　she　came　home。　In　any　case；　Nikki’s　family　was　not　keen　on　her　staying　more　than　two　nights　in　a　row。　Nikki　had　once　told　her；　with　characteristic　forthrightness；　that　it　was　all　right　with　her　mum　if　it　didn’t　happen　too　often；　but　that　Krystal　was　to　stop　using　them　as　a　hostel；　and　especially　to　stop　turning　up　past　midnight。

Terri　seemed　as　glad　as　she　ever　was　to　see　Krystal　back。　She　talked　about　the　new　social　worker’s　visit；　and　Krystal　wondered　nervously　what　the　stranger　had　thought　of　the　house；　which　lately　had　sunk　even　further　below　its　usual　filthy　tidemark。　Krystal　was　especially　worried　that　Kay　had　found　Robbie　at　home　when　he　ought　to　have　been　at　nursery；　because　Terri’s　mitment　to　keeping　Robbie　in　pre…school；　which　he　had　begun　while　with　his　foster　mother；　had　been　a　key　condition　of　his　negotiated　return　to　the　family　home　the　previous　year。　She　was　also　furious　that　the　social　worker　had　caught　Robbie　wearing　a　nappy；　after　all　the　work　Krystal　had　put　in　to　persuade　him　to　use　the　toilet。

‘So　whaddid　she　say？’　Krystal　demanded　of　Terri。

‘Tole　me　she　wuz　gonna　e　back；’　said　Terri。

Krystal　had　a　bad　feeling　about　this。　Their　usual　social　worker　seemed　content　to　let　the　Weedon　family　get　along　without　much　interference。　Vague　and　haphazard；　often　getting　their　names　wrong；　and　confusing　their　circumstances　with　those　of　other　clients；　she　turned　up　every　two　weeks　with　no　apparent　aim　except　to　check　that　Robbie　was　still　alive。

The　new　menace　worsened　Krystal’s　mood。　When　straight；　Terri　was　cowed　by　her　daughter’s　anger　and　let　Krystal　boss　her　around。　Making　the　most　of　her　temporary　authority；　Krystal　ordered　Terri　to　put　on　some　proper　clothes；　forced　Robbie　back　into　clean　pants；　reminded　him　he　couldn’t　piss　in　this　kind；　and　marched　him　off　to　nursery。　He　bawled　when　she　made　to　leave；　at　first　she　got　ratty　with　him；　but　finally　she　crouched　down　and　promised　him　that　she　would　e　back　and　pick　him　up　at　one；　and　he　let　her　go。

Then　Krystal　truanted；　even　though　Wednesday　was　the　day　she　liked　best　at　school；　because　she　had　both　PE　and　guidance；　and　set　to　work　to　clean　up　the　house　a　bit；　sloshing　pine…scented　disinfectant　over　the　kitchen；　scraping　all　the　old　food　and　cigarette　butts　into　bin　liners。　She　hid　the　biscuit　tin　holding　Terri’s　works；　and　heaved　the　remaining　puters　（three　had　already　been　collected）　into　the　hall　cupboard。

All　the　time　she　was　chiselling　food　off　the　plates；　Krystal’s　thoughts　kept　returning　to　the　rowing　team。　She　would　have　had　training　the　following　night；　if　Mr　Fairbrother　had　still　been　alive。　He　usually　gave　her　a　lift　both　ways　in　the　people…carrier；　because　she　had　no　other　means　of　getting　over　to　the　canal　in　Yarvil。　His　twin　daughters；　Niamh　and　Siobhan；　and　Sukhvinder　Jawanda　came　in　the　car　too。　Krystal　had　no　regular　contact　with　these　three　girls　during　school　hours；　but　since　being　a　team；　they　had　always　said　‘all　right？’　when　they　passed　each　other　in　the　corridors。　Krystal　had　expected　them　to　look　down　their　noses　at　her；　but　they　were　OK　once　you　got　to　know　them。　They　laughed　at　her　jokes。　They　had　adopted　some　of　her　favourite　phrases。　She　was；　in　some　sense；　the　crew’s　leader。

Nobody　in　Krystal’s　family　had　ever　owned　a　car。　If　she　concentrated；　she　could　smell　the　interior　of　the　people…carrier；　even　over　the　stink　of　Terri’s　kitchen。　She　loved　its　warm；　plasticky　scent。　She　would　never　be　in　that　car　again。　There　had　been　trips　on　a　hired　mini…bus　too；　with　Mr　Fairbrother　driving　the　whole　team；　and　sometimes　they　had　stayed　overnight　when　they　peted　against　far…flung　schools。　The　team　had　sung　Rihanna’s　‘Umbrella’　in　the　back　of　the　bus：　it　had　bee　their　lucky　ritual；　their　theme　tune；　with　Krystal　doing　Jay…Z’s　rap；　solo；　at　the　start。　Mr　Fairbrother　had　nearly　pissed　himself　the　first　time　he　heard　her　do　it：

Uh　huh　uh　huh；　Rihanna　…

Good　girl　gone　bad　–

Take　three　–

Action。

No　clouds　in　my　storms　…

Let　it　rain；　I　hydroplane　into　fame

in’　down　with　the　Dow　Jones　…

Krystal　had　never　understood　the　words。

Cubby　Wall　had　sent　round　a　letter　to　them　all；　saying　that　the　team　would　not　be　meeting　until　they　could　find　a　new　coach；　but　they　would　never　find　a　new　coach；　so　that　was　a　pile　of　shit；　they　all　knew　that。

It　had　been　Mr　Fairbrother’s　team；　his　pet　project。　Krystal　had　taken　a　load　of　abuse　from　Nikki　and　the　others　for　joining。　Their　sneering　had　hidden　incredulity　and；　later　on；　admiration；　because　the　team　had　won　medals　（Krystal　kept　hers　in　a　box　sh