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the　book　fair　and　the　scholarship　fund　drive。　It　was　a　lot　of　work；　and　now　that　it　was　the　end　of　
senior　year　and　everyone　was　already　into　college；　no　one　cared。　

？Moving　on；　I？m　pleased　to　announce？drumroll；　please？our　senior　class　graduation　speaker　is　？　
Blair　Waldorf！　Yay；　Blair！！？　Mimi　jumped　up　and　down　on　her　stubby　legs　and　clapped　her　hands　
over　her　head　like　this　was　the　best　thing　that　had　ever　happened。　

Take　that；　you　bitch！Blair　gloated　silently　at　the　back　of　Serena？s　pale　blond　head。That？s　what　
you　get　for　trying　to　sabotage　me。　

The　lounge　hummed　with　gossip　as　everyone　discussed　the　results。　No　one　had　really　wanted　
Blair　to　be　speaker；　because　her　whole　speech　was　going　to　be　about　herself；　but　they　questioned　
Serena？s　ability　to　write　a　coherent　speech。　

？She？s　so　dumb　from　all　the　drugs　she　did　up　at　boarding　school；　she？d　probably　have　to　bribe　
Blair　to　write　the　speech　for　her　anyway；？　Laura　Salmon　whispered　to　Rain　Hoffstetter。　


？I　heard　Serena　dropped　out；？　Rain　whispered　back。　？Nate　gave　her　some　gross　STD　and　she？s　
going　to　miss　graduation　anyway　because　she　has　to　go　to　some　clinic　in　Belgium　to　try　and　get　
cured。？　

？Is　that　true？？　Blair　wondered　out　loud。　Not　about　the　STD　part；　but　about　the　
dropping…out…of…the…running…for…senior…speaker　part。　She　was　reluctant　to　prolong　homeroom；　
because　there　were　only　five　more　minutes　left　for　her　to　get　changed；　powdered；　glossed；　and　
perfumed　before　she　was　scheduled　to　meet　up　with　a　very　hot　English　lord　who？d　promised　to　
spend　the　afternoon　dress　shopping　with　her。　Last　night　over　Ketel　One　martinis；　Lord　Marcus　had　
confessed　that　his　squash　game　had　been　a　total　disaster　because　he？d　been　thinking　about　her　the　
whole　time。　And　Blair　had　confessed　to　Googling　him　the　minute　she？d　unpacked　her　laptop。　His　
family；　the　Beaton…Rhodeses；　owned　the　largest　textile　mill　in　England　and　lived　in　a　very　huge　
and　historical　old　mansion　outside　of　London。　They　also　owned　a　villa　near　Milan　and　a　beach　
pound　in　Barbados。　Marcus？s　parents　were　special　friends　of　the　royal　family；　and　Marcus　
himself　had　even　attended　Princess　Diana？s　funeral。　He　was　listed　byHello！　magazine　as　one　of　
the　most　eligible　young　bachelors　in　England；　and　Blair　was　determined　to　win　his　heart　before　
any　of　those　greedy　English　bitches　got　to　him。　But　first　she　needed　to　know　if　she？d　beaten　
Serena　by　getting　elected　senior　speaker　or　if　she？d　only　won　because　she　was　the　only　girl　left　in　
the　running。　She　glared　at　Serena　and　repeated；　？Is　that　true？？　

Serena　squirmed　in　her　seat；　pulling　her　school　uniform　down　over　her　bare　knees　and　pulling　up　
her　pale　yellow　ankle　socks　so　they　looked　nerdy　and　ridiculous。　She？d　wanted　her　act　of　
martyrdom　to　go　unnoticed　by　the　rest　of　the　senior　class。　Now　everyone　knew　about　it。　？Is　there　a　
problem？？　she　responded；　sounding　a　lot　bitchier　than　she？d　intended。　

？But　Blair；　youwant　to　be　our　speaker；　right？？　Vanessa　Abrams　asked　from　her　seat　right　next　to　
Blair？s。　Vanessa　was　wearing　a　black　tank　top　and　no　bra　and　should　have　been　sent　home　for　
being　inappropriate　and　out　of　uniform。　Normally　this　sort　of　go…class…go　type　of　homeroom　drove　
her　nuts；　but　she？d　been　feeling　so　nostalgic　about　graduating　lately；　she　was　actually　sort　of　into　
it。　

？Yes；？　Blair　admitted。　？I　do。？　

Vanessa　rolled　her　eyes　and　gave　her　friend？s　arm　a　gentle　little　shove。　？Then　what　do　you　care？？　

Blair　shrugged。　？Can　we　go　now？？　she　asked　Mimi；　eager　to　get　out　of　her　uniform　and　into　the　
tight　white　Juicy　Couture　clamdiggers　and　green　Marni　halter　top　she？d　brought　to　wear　shopping　
with　Lord　Marcus。　

Serena　shot　Vanessa　a　grateful　glance。　She　really　hadn？t　meant　to　make　a　fuss。　And　maybe；　when　
she　thought　about　it　later？like；　years　later；　when　they　both　had　blue　old…lady　hair　and　had　retired　to　
Mustique　or　some　other　hot　and　sunny　place；　Blair　might　hate　her　a　little　less。　


After　homeroom；　the　senior　girls　congregated　outside　Constance　Billard？s　great　blue　doors；　still　
buzzing　about　the　senior　speaker　situation。　They　couldn？t　help　but　notice　the　gorgeous；　tall；　
golden…haired　boy　who　was　standing　on　the　sidewalk　only　a　few　feet　away；　wearing　perfectly　
ironed　jeans　and　the　cutest　salmon…pink…and…white　checked　Thomas　Pink　button…down　shirt。　Blair　
brushed　by　them　wearing　a　pletely　different　outfit　from　what　she？d　worn　to　school　that　day；　
sprinted　down　the　steps；　and；　to　their　plete　amazement；　kissed　the　boy　on　the　cheek　without　
even　stopping　for　air。　

？Nice　to　see　you　too；？　Lord　Marcus　chuckled；　holding　her　arms　and　looking　her　up　and　down　
appreciatively。　

Blair　blushed　hot　pink　down　to　her　jade　green　Kate　Spade　flats。　God；　he　was　dreamy？even　better　
than　the　boy　she？d　dreamed　up　to　star　opposite　her　in　the　movie　in　her　mind；　because　he　wasreal；　
androyal；　and　more　perfect　than　Nate　could　ever　attempt　to　be。　

Last　night　at　the　Yale　Club　bar；　when　she？d　begun　to　slur　her　words　from　drinking　too　much　
Ketel　One；　he？d　held　her　hand　all　the　way　back　to　their　rooms；　kissing　it　gently　before　he　said　
good　night。　Blair　had　swooned　so　hard　she　almost　puked。　How　could　something　so　insanely　sexy　
e　so　effortlessly　to　him？　It　had　been　all　she　could　do　to　keep　herself　from　sledgehammering　
the　wall　between　them　with　her　black　salon…size　Vidal　Sassoon　hair　dryer　and　jumping　his　
adorable　bones。　

The　group　of　senior　girls　clustered　in　front　of　the　school　in　their　matching　light　blue　seersucker　
uniforms；　looking　a　little　like　the　pigeons　roosting　in　the　eaves　of　the　school　roof　as　they　stared　
incredulously　at　Blair　and　her　hot　British　lord。　

？What；　did　she；　like；　create　him　in　a　lab　or　something？？　Laura　Salmon　demanded　with　a　mixture　
of　jealousy　and　awe。　

She　pulled　her　white　eyelet　blouse　down　tight　across　her　chest　in　a　lame　attempt　to　show　off　her　
new　red　DKNY　demicup　bra。　

？He？s　pletely　perfect；？　Isabel　Coates　breathed；　yanking　out　some　of　the　bobby　pins　holding　
down　her　grown…out　brown　bangs。　？But　I　bet　he；　like；　washes　dishes　at　the　Yale　Club　or　
something。？　

？Actually；　I　think　he？s　her　cousin？you　know　how　she　has　that　aunt　in　Scotland？？　Rain　
improvised。　？She？s　just　pretending　he？s　her　hunky　new　boyfriend　to　make　Nate　jealous。？　

？But　Nate？s　not　even　here；？　Kati　Farkas　pouted；　her　shiny　pink　lower　lip　jutting　out　in　a　way　that　
made　her　look　even　dumber　than　she　actually　was。　

？No；　but　Serena　is；？　Isabel　remarked　insightfully。　


The　girls　turned　to　stare　at　Serena；　who　had　just　stepped　outside　the　blue　doors。　She　adjusted　the　
earphones　on　her　pink　iPod　mini　and　blinked　her　gigantic　lake…blue　eyes；　her　long；　pale　blond　hair　
gleaming　in　the　bright；　hot　sun。　She　waved　to　the　other　girls　and　then　started　on　her　merry　way；　
traipsing　down　the　steps　until　she　caught　sight　of　Blair；　hanging　on　the　lapels　of　her　royal　British　
hunk。　

Lord　Marcus　was　about　to　hail　them　a　cab　down　to　the　Oscar　de　la　Renta　boutique　on　Madison　
and　Sixty…sixth　Street；　where　he？d　promised　to　help　Blair　sort　out　her　graduation　dress　issues；　
when　Blair　suddenly　grabbed　his　pink…and…white　checked　shirt；　nearly　ripping　it　off　his　body。　

？Kiss　menow　；？　she　told　him　urgently。　Of　course　it　was　sort　of　unexpected？they？d　only　just　met　
yesterday？but　didn？t　that　make　it　all　the　more　romantic？　

Or　all　the　more　bizarre。　

？Because　somebody？s　looking　or　because　you　want　me　to？？　Lord　Marcus　responded　with　an　
amused；　irresistible　smile　that　made　it　very　clear　he　didn？t　care　either　way。　

？Both。？　Blair　closed　her　eyes　in　anticipation　of　the　kiss。　Of　course　she　wasn？t　in　love；yet。　It　was　
theidea　of　Lord　Marcus　she　loved。　But　their　first　kiss　lasted　longer　than　an　on…screen　kiss；　tasted　
better　than　steak　frites；　and　felt　better　than　a　day…dream？waybetter。　It　certainly　wouldn？t　take　
much　for　her　to　fall　genuinely　in　love。　She　was　definitely　almost　there。　

A　cab　pulled　to　a　stop　beside　them　and；　his　lips　still　pressed　against　Blair？s；　Lord　Marcus　raised　
his　hand　to　flag　it。　But　the　cab　was　already　occupied　by　a　very　tense　Nate　Archibald。　Nate　opened　
the　cab　door；　and　Lord　Marcus　and　Blair　stepped　aside　to　allow　Serena　to　breeze　past　them　and　
into　the　backseat。　She　pulled　the　door　closed；　looking　up　at　Blair　and　Lord　Marcus　through　the　
window　with　her　huge　blue　eyes。　Blair　stared　back；　her　body　pressed　against　Lord　Marcus。　Serena　
lifted　her　hand　to　wave　at　them；　her　perfect　lips　parting　in　a　smile　as　the　cab　took　off　toward　Fifth　
Avenue。　

And　even　though　Serena　was　already　gone；　Blair　smiled　back。　Because　for　once　in　her　life；　she　
honestly　didn？t　give　a　damn　where　they　were　going。　

guess　who？s　bonking　in　bergdorf？s？　

Located　at　Fifth　Avenue　and　Fifty…eighth　Street；　Bergdorf　Goodman　was　one　of　the　oldest　and　
most　beautiful　luxury　department　stores　in　Manhattan。　It　was　the　first　store　Serena？s　mother　had　
ever　taken　her　shopping　in；　and　even　though　it　was　stuffier　and　more　old…fashioned　than　Barneys　
or　Bendel？s；　it　seemed　like　the　appropriate　place　to　buy　her　graduation　dress。　She？d　asked　Nate　to　


e　along　only　because　she　needed　a　second　opinion；　although　with　his　standard　uniform　of　
well…worn　knit　polo　shirts　or　white　button…downs　and　khakis；　Nate　wasn？t　exactly　astute　when　it　
came　to　fashion。　

？I　wonder　where　Blair　met　him；？　Serena　mused　aloud　as　Bergdorf？s　sleek　ivory…colored　elevator　
whisked　them　up　to　the　third　floor。　

Nate　didn？t　respond。　He　was　staring　at　Serena？s　boobs。　They　were　hard　looking；　like　the　small　
Empire　apples　that　grew　on　his　family？s　estate　on　Mt。　Desert　Island；　Maine。　He　had　taken　a　couple　
of　Coach　Michaels？s　Viagras　on　his　way　to　pick　her　up　and　he　was　pretty　sure　he　was　beginning　to　
feel　the　effect。　There　was　a　lot　of　pressure　down　there；　like　a　handless　hand　job；　and　if　he　didn？t　
do　something　about　it　soon；　things　were　going　to　get　kind　of　messy。　

　Like；　how　soon？　

The　elevator　doors　glided　open　and　Serena　was　immediately　drawn　to　a　rack　of　exquisitely　made　
white　Oscar　de　la　Renta　suits？swishy　pleated　knee…length　skirts　and　fitted　jackets　with　cool　white　
leather　belts　decorated　with　adorable　little　white　leather　bows。　

？I　don？t　know　why　I　even　care；？　she　continued　as　she　fingered　the　suits　without　even　noticing　
that　Nate　was　staring　at　her　like　she　was　a　slice　of　extra…cheese　pizza　hot　out　of　a　Ray？s　Original　
Pizza　oven。　？Blair　will　probably　never　talk　to　me　again。？　

？May　I　help　you？？　offered　a　bulky　middle…aged　sales…woman　with　a　gold　Bergdorf？s　name　tag　
that　read　JOAN。　Joan　was　wearing　a　purple　Chanel　suit　that　did　nothing　for　her　lumpy　hips　and　
piano　legs。　

？I　need　to　try　these　on　in　a　size　four。？　Serena　pointed　to　three　of　the　white　Oscar　de　la　Renta　suits。　
Until　now　she　hadn？t　thought　of　wearing　a　suit　to　graduation　instead　of　a　dress；　but　it　seemed　to　
make　perfect　sense。　She？d　never　been　the　frilly…white…dress　type　anyway；　and　there　was　something　
so　crisp　and　final　about　the　suits　that　made　them　totally　perfect　for　graduation。　

Nate　was　practically　bursting　as　he　followed　Serena　and　Joan　to　the　ladies？fitting　room。　He　stood　
just　outside　as　Joan　hung　up　the　suits；　closed　the　heavy　gray　velvet　curtain；　and　then　hurried　off　to　
find　something　else　she　thought　Serena　might　like。　Now　was　his　chance。　

He　yanked　the　curtain　open。　Serena　had　unbuttoned　her　uniform。　Her　white　polo　shirt　was　around　
her　neck　and　she　was　wearing　only　a　flimsy　white　camisole　instead　of　a　bra　underneath。　？Hey；？　
she　greeted　him　with　a　shy　smile。　？It？s　okay　if　you　e　in。？　

Nate　yanked　the　curtain　shut　with　one　hand　as　he　unbuckled　his　belt　with　the　other。Go；　go；　go！　

Serena　began　to　remove　one　of　the　suits　from　the　hanger。　Then　she　noticed　Nate　staring　at　her　
with　his　pants　around　his　ankles。　


　Hello？　

？Nate；　what　are　you　doing？？　His　brilliant　green　eyes　glittered　and　his　thin　lips　parted　hungrily；　
like　he　hadn？t　eaten　lunch　or　something。　She　giggled　and　crossed　her　arms　over　her　chest。　？They　
don？t　have　cameras　in　these　things；　do　they？？　

As　if　either　of　them　cared？　

He　grabbed　her　camisole　and　yanked　it　away　from　her　body；　ripping　it　entirely　in　half　in　the　
process。　Serena　dropped　the　suit　on　the　dressing　room　floor　and　grab