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two　pairs　of　brown　eyes；　two　pairs　of　thin　red　lips。　？Did　you　get　my　e…mail？？　

We　could　almost　be　twins；Vanessa　thought；　creeping　herself　out。　She　was　suddenly　reminded　of　
those　freaky　old　V。C。　Andrews　books　she？d　read　when　she　was　twelve；　about　a　brother　and　sister　
who　were　locked　together　in　an　attic　and　eventually　gave　birth　to　twins。　？Blair　wants　to　be　our　
senior　speaker。　If　I　miss　graduation；　she？ll　kill　me。？　

Aaron　rolled　his　eyes；　flipped　the　cracked　white　toilet　seat　lid　down；　and　sat　down　on　it。　He　
sighed。　？I　don？t　know　how　she　does　it。？　

？What　do　you　mean？？　Vanessa　couldn？t　help　observing　that　this　little　bathroom　chat　was　the　
longest　they？d　ever　talked　without　forgetting　what　they　were　talking　about　and　ripping　each　
other？s　clothes　off。　

？You？re　like　the　most　righteous　person　I　know；　but　she　even　manages　to　get　you　to　do　her　
bidding。？　Aaron　explained；　rubbing　the　back　of　his　neck　where　the　supershort　shaved　bits　were　
growing　in。　

？It？s　not　like　that。　We？re　friends。　Anyway；？　Vanessa　quickly　changed　the　subject。　？I　think　driving　
across　the　country　and　camping　out　and　stuff　sounds　？　cool。？　She　put　her　hands　in　her　pockets；　
hoping　that　Aaron　would　forget　all　about　the　ring。　？I　mean；　as　long　as　there？s；　like；　a　bathroom　
and　a　shower　we　can　use。？　

Sounds　like　she　doesn？t　quite　know　the　meaning　of　？camping　out。？　

？Really？？　Aaron　stood　up；　grinning　as　he　turned　her　around　to　face　him。　？So；　are　you；　like；　
pletely　naked　underneath　that　towel？？　he　asked；　kissing　her　neck　and　shoulders。　

Vanessa　knew　she　ought　to　have　been　overwhelmed　by　her　outrageous　deception。　Dan　had　left　
only　an　hour　ago。　Now　here　she　was　with　Aaron；　her　real　boyfriend；　pretending　it　was　perfectly　
natural　to　be　taking　a　shower　in　the　late　afternoon；　when　she　normally　only　took　one　in　the　
morning。　Maybe　she　was　just　losing　her　mind；　but　somehow　it　made　being　with　Aaronand　Dan　all　
the　more　exciting。　

Aaron　turned　on　the　shower　and　pulled　his　shirt　off　over　his　head。　？I　say　we　both　need　to　get　


really；　really　clean。？　He　tugged　on　Vanessa？s　towel。　？e　on；　I？ll　wash　your　hair　for　you。？　

The　towel　fell　to　the　floor　and　Vanessa　laughed　out　loud；　amazed　at　how　unguilty　she　felt。　The　
truth　was；　in　the　very　near　future　she　wouldn？t　be　seeing　much　of　these　boys　at　all；　so　why　not　
enjoy　them　now；　while　they　were　standing　right　in　front　of　her？naked？　

After　their　steaming　hot　shower；　Aaron　busied　himself　cooking　wheat　gluten　chicken　nuggets　
with　sweet　potato　fries；　while　Vanessa　edited　her　final　film　project；　a　series　of　interviews　with　
seniors　from　Constance　and　other　private　schools　that　she？d　filmed　over　the　course　of　the　past　few　
months。　

Some　of　the　interviews　were　funny　and　insightful；　but　some　of　them　could　be　interpreted　in　kind　
of　a　bad　way　if　you　didn？t　know　the　people。　She　decided　to　start　with　Blair？s　interview。　Blair　
looked　totally　awesome　sitting　in　front　of　Bethesda　Fountain　in　Central　Park　wearing　a　black　polo　
shirt　and　her　jade…and…Swarovski…crystal　chandelier　earrings。　A　group　of　shirtless　boys　were　
playing　Frisbee　in　the　background；　girls　in　bikinis　sprawled　at　their　feet。　

？For　me　it？s　not　just　about　having　sex；　though。　It？s　about　my　whole　future。　Yale　and　Nate：　the　
two　things　I？ve　always　wanted　？？　Blair　declared；　sounding　unusually　psychotic。　？And　if　I　don？t　
get　in　？　someone　is　going　to　fucking　pay。　This　is；　like；　my　one　chance　to　be　happy；　and　I　think　I　
deserve　it；　you　know？？　

Well；　hello；　crazy　bitch。　

Vanessa　winced。　Of　course　it　was　good　film；　but　considering　how　things　had　turned　out　with　
Nate；　it　would　hurt　Blair？s　feelings　too　much　to　use　it。　

Aaron　came　out　of　the　kitchen　to　peer　over　her　shoulder　at　the　little　screen　on　her　digital　video　
camera；　a　carrot　stick　in　his　mouth。　？When？s　my　part？？　

Vanessa　fast…forwarded　until　she　got　to　Aaron？s　interview；　taken　late　one　night　in　her　
bedroom？which　explained　why　he　was　wearing　only　a　lavender…and…celery…green　striped　sheet。　
The　interview　had　been　done　before　he　cut　his　hair；　and　brown　mini　dreadlocks　stuck　out　in　all　
directions　from　his　head。　

？I？ve　been　feeling　really；　really　good　about　myself　since　I　heard　from　Harvard；？　the　practically　
naked；　dreadlocked　Aaron　told　the　camera。　？I　mean；　I　used　to　be　this　skinny　kid　with　braces　and　
frizzy　hair；　and　now　I？m；　like；　theking　。　It　totally　rocks！？　

Good　for　you；　dude。　Good　for　you。　

Behind　them；　the　timer　on　the　oven　went　off。　？I　sound　like　an　asshole；？　Aaron　observed　casually　
as　he　headed　back　into　the　kitchen。　？But　you　can　use　it。　I　don？t　mind。？　


Vanessa　went　back　to　Blair？s　segment；　watching　it　over　and　over　and　trying　to　edit　it　in　such　a　
way　that　Blair　wouldn？t　sound　totally　demonic。　Maybe　Blair　didn？t　have　Nate　anymore；　but　she　
had　gotten　into　Yale　in　the　end。　As　she　scrolled　over　and　over　through　the　footage　in　her　film；　
listening　to　her　classmates？　and　peers？　hilariously　self…absorbed　statements　and　sad　truths；　she　
grew　more　and　more　reticent　about　missing　graduation。　Not　that　she　was　actually　into　group　hugs　
or　white　dresses；　but　it　seemed　kind　ofwrong　to　miss　out　on　the　one　day　she？d　been　waiting　for　
since　she　started　at　Constance　Billard　in　ninth　grade。　

Like　hooking　up　with　two　guys　on　the　same　daywasn？t　wrong？　

Professor　Pierre　Papadametriou　

English　Dept。；　The　Evergreen　State　College　

2700　Evergreen　Parkway　NW　

　Olympia；　WA　98505　

　Daniel　Humphrey　

815　West　End　Avenue；　Apt。　8D　

New　York；　NY　10024　

　Dear　Daniel　Humphrey；　

I　was　so　excited　with　hiring　you　for　my　summer　assistant；　I　forgot　to　tell　you　the　subject　of　my　
book：　sex　poems。　I　mean；　poems　that　are　about　making　sex　through　the　ages；　which　is　interesting　
to　me　because　I　teach　poetry　and　biology；　and　I　am　Greek！　The　book　has　no　title　yet　but　maybe　
you　will　help　me　think　of　a　good　one！　I　also　did　not　explain　that　you　will　live　in　my　small　home　
with　my　two　dogs；　Plato　and　Plato　Jr。；　and　my　son；　Mick；　because　Evergreen　does　not　allow　
students　to　move　in　until　orientation　in　end　of　August。　Hammock　in　attic　is　fixed；　so　e！　We　
will　make　a　good　time　with　Micky？s　homemade　ouzo！

　Sincerely；　

Pierre　

D　chooses　real　sex　over　sex　poems　
Dan　sat　in　the　back　of　AP　English　class；　his　hands　trembling　as　he　reread　the　letter。　Professor　


Papadametriou　sounded　like　a　nice　man；　and　he？d　probably　make　a　good　advisor。　Dan　could　
totally　picture　enjoying　a　few　glasses　of　wine　in　the　professor？s　home　while　he　talked　about　the　
fall　of　Troy　and　his　son　stuffed　grape　leaves　or　whatever。　The　thing　was；　Dan　didn？t　want　to　go　to　
Evergreen　at　all　anymore。　

？Dan；　could　you　enlighten　us　as　to　who　the　narrator　is　in　this　poem？？　Ms。　Solomon　asked。　She　
was　wearing　a　tight　black　lace　mini　tank　dress；　her　nearly　translucent；　thin；　spidery　arms　and　bony　
legs　poking　out　of　it；　making　her　look　like　a　cartoon　witch　in　a　Halloween　TV　special。　She　wound　
a　strand　of　mousy　dark　blond　hair　around　her　index　finger；　a　gesture　she　probably　thought　was　
irresistible　to　Dan。　Ms。　Solomon　had　a　serious　crush　on　him；　and　whenever　she　suspected　he　
wasn？t　paying　attention　in　class；　she　stomped　her　feet　like　a　petulant　child　and　asked　him　a　
question；　demanding　his　attention。　

He　wasn？t　even　sure　which　poem　she　was　talking　about；　although　he　knew　it　was　Robert　Frost；　
and　he？d　memorized　most　of　Frost。　

？It？s　either　the　guy　or　the　horse；？　Dan　answered　mechanically　without　even　looking　up。　

？Thanks；　Stormfield；？　Ms。　Solomon　cracked　sarcastically。　

？Even　I　could　do　better　than　that；？　Chuck　Bass　jeered　from　the　front　of　the　room；　where　he？d　
decided　to　sit　every　day　up　until　the　final　exam；　in　his　last…ditch　effort　to　get　better　than　a　D　in　
English。　Chuck　was　wearing　orange…and…white　plaid　Bermuda　shorts；　a　white　polo　shirt；　white　
patent　leather　shoes；　and　a　matching　white　patent　leather　belt。　It　was　the　sort　of　outfit　a　Park　
Avenue　mom　would　dress　her　three…year…old　son　in　for　church；　only　Chuck　had　chosen　the　outfit　
himself。　Sweetie　sat　in　Chuck？s　lap；　wearing　a　tiny　rhinestone　tiara。　

Dan　shrugged。　He　was　beyond　Chuck？s　nasty　wisecracks；　and　beyond　Ms。　Solomon？s　insolent　
crush。　Way　beyond。　In　fact；　right　now　he　was　so　consumed　with　love　for　Vanessa；　he　wasn？t　sure　
what　to　do　with　himself。　

　Uh…oh。　

On　the　subway　he？d　started　writing　his　graduation　speech；　modeling　it　after　all　the　stupid　
graduation　speeches　he？d　heard　in　movies。We　are　the　future。　The　ticket　to　a　successful　life　is　a　
good　education。　The　world　awaits　us　with　all　it　has　to　teach　。　But　that　had　been　before　he　and　
Vanessa　had　sex　on　her　roof。　Now　he　was　pretty　sure　he　was　changing　the　topic。　For　how　could　he　
not　write　aboutlove？　

　Double　uh…oh。　

He　glanced　down　at　the　letter　again；　picked　up　his　chewed…on　black　Paper　Mate　pen；　and　turned　
to　a　clean　sheet　of　paper　in　his　loose…leaf　binder。　


Dear　Professor　Papadametriou；　

Thank　you　for　offering　me　the　opportunity　to　work　with　you　this　summer。　However；　something　
has　e　up　and　I　will　not　be　able　to　accept　the　position。　I　would　very　much　like　to　meet　you　and　

your　dogs　and　your　son　sometime。　Until　then；　good　luck；　and　good　luck　with　your　book。　

All　the　best；

　Daniel　Humphrey　

P。　S。　I？ve　enclosed　a　poem　you　might　want　to　include　in　your　book。　
He　turned　to　another　fresh　page。　
view　from　the　roof　
The　view　is　better　from　up　here。　
See　her　factories；　her　rivers。　
If　her　hills　weren？t　in　the　way　
I　could　see　into　the　windows　of　the　apartment　across　the　street。　
See　a　woman　pouring　milk　as　she　sets　the　table　for　dinner。　
Oh　there。　There？s　the　table。　There。　
I　can　see　everything　from　here。　
There。　Yes。　Right　there。　
Dan　wasn？t　sure　if　he　really　had　the　guts　to　send　such　a　sexually　explicit　poem　to　a　professor　
he？d　never　even　met；　but　it　would　be　cool　if　Professor　Papadametriou　actually　used　the　poem　in　
his　book。　

Ms。　Solomon　sat　down　at　her　desk　and　rested　her　pointy；　unpleasant　chin　in　her　hands；　looking　
pletely　defeated　because　she？d　worn　her　sexiest　dress　just　for　Dan　and　he？d　barely　looked　at　
her　for　the　last　forty　minutes。　

？I？d　like　you　to　open　your　notebooks　and　take　the　last　ten　minutes　of　class　to　write　whatever　you　
feel　like　writing；？　she　instructed　with　unusual　generosity。　Normally　she　droned　on　about　
Wordsworth　or　some　other　dead　poet　until　five　minutes　after　the　bell　had　rung；　driving　the　boys　
apeshit。　Dan　took　the　opportunity　to　get　started　on　a　new　graduation　speech。　


Ladies　and　gentlemen；　we　are　gathered　here　today　to　celebrate　the　end　of　the　first　chapter　in　our　
lives　and　the　beginning　of　the　second。　We　already　know　what　es　next。　Four　years　of　college；　
and　then　another　graduation。　But　whoop…dee…doo！　Now　is　the　time　to　be　inlove。　？　

　Whoop…dee…doo？　Triple；　super…duper　uh…oh。　

　who？s　that　boy？　

Senior　homeroom　was　last　period　on　Tuesday　in　the　Constance　Billard　senior　lounge；　a　
windowless　room　above　the　library　that　had　been　a　storage　area　until　it　was　given　to　the　seniors　as　
a　place　to　relax　and　escape　from　all　the　underclassmen。　No　teacher　was　present；　which　meant　that　
none　of　the　girls　were　paying　any　attention　to　Mimi　Halperin；　the　perky　but　lame　president　of　the　
senior　class；　as　she　made　announcements　about　senior　privileges　during　exam　week。　

？No　uniforms　all　week；　girls。　And　we　only　have　to　e　to　school　for　our　exams。　Awesome；　
huh？？　Mimi　clapped　her　chubby　hands　together　and　pushed　her　thick　black　hair　behind　her　
weirdly　small　ears。　The　other　girls　yawned　and　looked　at　their　watches；　eager　to　leave　so　they　
could　continue　their　quest　for　the　perfect　graduation　dress　or　work　on　their　tans。　Mimi　had　been　
the　class　clown　and　everyone？s　buddy　way　back　in　third　grade；　but　now　that　they　were　all　grown　
up；　no　one　thought　she　was　funny。　Still；　they？d　voted　for　her　for　president　at　the　end　of　junior　year　
because　she　was　the　only　one　who　seemed　to　want　to　do　it。　Because　it　went　on　your　transcript　for　
college；　class　president　was　a　coveted　position；　up　until　senior　year。　The　class　president　had　to　
attend　weekly　student　council　meetings　at　7：30A。M　。　and　help　out　at　all　the　school　functions；　like　
the　book　fair　and　the　scholarship　fund　drive。　It　was　a　lot　of　work；　and　now　that　it　w