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irritating　never…get…to…finish…your…drink　party…hopping　business。　Let？s　just　find　the　perfect　venue；　
invite　everyone；　have　the　time　of　our　lives；　and　never　leave。　

　your　e…mail　

Q：　dear　GG；　
my　little　brother　is　in　the　ninth　grade　at　st。　jude？s　and　he　heard　thatN　is　going　to　a　shrink。　
supposedly　he　has　to；　like；　regress　back　to　being　a　baby　so　his　shrink　can　figure　out　why　he？s　such　
a　pothead。　that？s　why　he？s　crying　all　the　time。　

　？nformed

　A：Dear　nformed；　

Forgive　me　for　asking；　but　doesn？t　this　regression　technique　also　causeN　to　wet　his　pants？　Ew。　
Poor　guy！　

　？GG　

　Sightings　

NkissingS　demurely　on　the　cheek　outside　her　apartment　building　at　Eighty…second　and　Fifth。　
Were　her　parents　watching；　or　is　he；　like；　the　only　boy　in　the　entire　universe　who　can　actually　
resist　her；　even　though　she？s　supposedly　his　girlfriend？　Maybe　he　had　soggy　pants　and　he　had　to　
hurry　home　and　change？B　andC　blasting　music　in　traffic　on　theWilliamsburg　Bridge　。　His　arm　was　
around　her　and　she　was　petting　his　monkey。　Nowthere？s　a　relationship　that　could　work！V　spraying　
her　rooftop　love　den　with　air　freshener　and　rearranging　the　fur　throw　pillows。　With　so　many　guys　


to　pick　up　after；　it　must　be　hard　to　keep　things　tidy　and　smelling　fresh。　And　was　that　a　pair　of　boys？　
tighty…whiteys　we　saw　her　toss　off　the　roof　to　the　street？！J　in　aNew　Hampshire　hardware　store　
trying　to　talk　her　dad　out　of　buying　a　wheelbarrow　forD　as　a　joke　graduation　present　instead　of　a　
car。　Don？t　think　he？d　appreciate　the　joke。K　andI　trying　on　every　pair　of　white　flatsFerragamo　
makes。　Is　someone　going　to　tell　those　girls　that　wearing　matching　shoes　is　tacky？　Hey　look；　I　just　
did！　

Remember；　graduation　is　really　for　the　moms　and　dads。　So　why　not　wear　that　frillyLaura　Ashley　
dress　with　the　enormous　white　bow　over　the　butt　that　your　mom　has　been　saving　for　you　since　you　
were　ten　and　then　reap　the　rewards。　Can　you　spellB…M…W　；　anyone？　

Excuse　my　greed。　

You　know　you　love　me。　

　gossip　girl　

S　demonstrates　how　to　be　naughty　and　nice　

？Mr。　Beckham？？　Serena　called；　tugging　open　the　first　of　four　heavy　black　curtains　that　led　into　
Constance　Billard？s　darkroom。　？Mr。　Beckham；　is　it　okay　if　I　e　in　and　talk　to　you　for　a　
minute？？　

Serena　heard　a　stool　squeak。　？Sure　thing；　e　on　in；？　Constance　Billard？s　only　film　teacher　
called　back。　？Careful　with　the　curtains。？　

Classes　were　over　for　the　day；　and　a　quiet　hung　over　the　school；　broken　only　by　the　laughter　of　a　
few　stray　girls　or　the　click　of　a　teacher？s　heels。　Serena　had　stayed　behind　to　see　if　she　could　
remedy　the　whole　senior…class…speaker　situation。　Not　that　she？d　definitely　get　it；　but　she？d　taken　
enough　away　from　Blair　already。　Being　senior　class　speaker　would　just　be　one　more　thing　she　
got　without　really　wanting　it。　

Like　a　certain　green…eyed　boyfriend？　

She　slipped　inside　the　darkroom；　making　sure　the　curtains　swung　closed　behind　her　to　block　out　
every　bit　of　light。　A　special　red　darkroom　lamp　glowed　overhead；　but　it　was　still　hard　to　see。　
Goosebumps　appeared　on　Serena？s　bare　arms　and　legs。　The　darkroom　always　gave　her　the　chills。　

Mr。　Beckham　was　the　only　cool　young　male　teacher　at　Constance。　Except　he　thought　he　was　
cooler；　younger；　and　better　looking　than　he　actually　was。　Fancying　himself　an　artist；　he　wore　


chunky　black　rectangular　glasses　and　tight　black　long…sleeved　Club　Monaco　T…shirts　that　showed　
off　his　gym…toned　chest。　He　spiked　his　dark　blond　hair　with　gel　and　inserted　the　odd　French　word　
whenever　he　could。　

？Ah；　Serena；？　he　exclaimed；　pushing　away　the　poppy…seed　bagel　with　cream　cheese　he？d　been　
snacking　on。　He　spread　his　arms　out　wide。　？Quelle　pleasure！？　

Serena　fiddled　with　the　button　on　the　waistband　of　her　light…blue…and…white　seersucker　spring　
uniform　skirt　and　shifted　from　foot　to　foot。　Why　was　talking　to　a　teacher　outside　of　class　always　
slightly　embarrassing？　

Especially　when　you　suspected　the　teacher　had　a　teensy…weensy　crush　on　you。　

？Um；　I　just　wanted　to　thank　you　for　nominating　me　for　senior　speaker；？　Serena　told　him。　She　
stuck　her　thumb　in　her　mouth　and　began　gnawing　on　its　already　chewed…on　pearly　pink　nail。　

Note　to　all：　Only　ridiculously　beautiful　people　can　get　away　with　this　sort　of　behavior　without　
grossing　everyone　else　out。　

？Anyway；？　she　continued；　？I　just　wanted　you　to　know　that　I　crossed　myself　off　the　list　of　
nominees。？　She　moved　on　to　her　ring　finger；　which　hadn？t　been　chewed　on　since　breakfast。　？I？ve　
never　been　that　good　at　making　speeches。？　

Plus；　Blair　is　the　only　other　person　nominated；　and　she　really　wants　to　do　it；　and　I？m　afraid　if　I　
get　it　she　might　murder　me　in　my　sleep。　

Mr。　Beckham　took　off　his　glasses　and　began　to　clean　them　with　the　bottom　of　his　black　T…shirt；　
revealing　a　bare　patch　of　surprisingly　buff　stomach。　Serena　tried　not　to　stare　and　wondered　
fleetingly　if　he　was　gay。　His　bare　skin　seemed　totally　indecent；　like　he　was　flashing　her　or　
something。　

？You　know　why　I　nominated　you；n？est…ce　pas　？？　he　asked；　looking　searchingly　at　her　in　the　red　
darkness　as　he　continued　to　clean　his　glasses。　

Mais　oui。　Because　you　have　le　hots　pour　elle？　

？Well　？？　Serena　began；　searching　for　an　excuse　to　turn　and　flee。　There　was　suddenly　something　
creepy　and　unsanitary　about　the　fact　that　Mr。　Beckham　had　been　eating　a　bagel　while　developing　
film。　She　wondered　if　he　was　addicted　to　the　chemicals　or　something。　

Mr。　Beckham　put　his　glasses　back　on　and　sat　back　on　his　metal　swivel　stool。　？Serena；　I？ve　been　
watching　you　since　I　came　here；　back　when　you　were　only　in　seventh　grade。　And　I　know　it　sounds　
corny；　but　you　really　lit　up　my　darkroom。？　He　stopped　to　clear　his　throat；　clearly　too　nervous　to　
think　of　any　words　in　French。　？If　I　weren？t　your　teacher；　I？d　？？　


He？d　？　pour　fixer　all　over　her　and　lick　it　off？　Some　advice：Run；　girl；　run！！！！　

Serena　was　pretty　sure　she　didn？t　want　to　hear　anything　more。　？Um；　Mr。　Beckham？　Sorry；　but　I　
really　have　to　go。　I　just　wanted　to　say　thanks　for　being　so　supportive。？　She　held　up　her　hand　and　
waved　stiffly；　even　though　he　was　sitting　right　in　front　of　her。　？I　guess　I？ll　see　you　at　graduation；？　
she　added　with　faux　cheerfulness。　Then　she　turned　to　push　her　way　through　the　heavy　curtains　
again。　

　？Wait。？　

Her　stomach　filled　with　dread　and　she　shivered　again　in　her　thin　white　baby　tee。　She　could　hear　
voices　outside　in　the　hallway。　Someone　would　hear　her　if　she　yelled　loudly　enough。　She　turned　
around。　？I　really　do　have　to　go。？　

Mr。　Beckham　slipped　off　his　stool　and　walked　toward　her。　？May　I　？？　He　swallowed；　his　Adam？s　
apple　bobbing　nervously。　？Would　you　mind　if　I　just　？　gave　you　a　petit；　petit　kiss？？　he　asked　
quietly；　pinching　together　his　thumb　and　forefinger　to　demonstrate　just　how　small　the　kiss　would　
be。　

Serena　hesitated；　reluctant　to　turn　this　into　a　huge　deal　but　eager　to　get　rid　of　him。　She　could　just　
say　no　and　leave。　Or　she　could　freak　out　and　run　up　to　Mrs。　M？s　office　and　turn　him　in。　Or　she　
could　let　him　give　her　a　little　tiny　kiss　to　remember　her　by　and　then　just　forget　about　it　forever。　

She　shrugged　her　bony　shoulders　and　turned　to　offer　up　her　smooth；　delicately　sun…freckled　
cheek；　making　it　quite　clear　that　Mr。　Beckham　wasn？t　about　to　get　any　lip　action。　

He　took　a　step　forward　and　placed　a　careful　kiss　in　the　middle　of　her　cheek；　like　a　stamp。　？Tant　
pis；？　he　breathed　wistfully　and　then　flung　open　the　darkroom　curtains；　as　if　to　let　her　know　that　he　
had　no　intention　of　molesting　her　any　further。　

Guess　he　didn？t　care　much　about　exposing　his　film。　

　？Adieu；　Serena。？　

In　the　hall　just　outside　the　darkroom；　Mrs。　M　stood　dressed　in　her　favorite　red；　white；　and　blue　
Talbots　linen　pantsuit　with　Ms。　D？Agostino；　the　mousy　freshman　Spanish　teacher；　who　was　
holding　a　gold　metal　tin　full　of　chocolate　truffles。　？Ooh；　you　little　she…devil！？　Mrs。　M　cooed　
delightedly　as　she　popped　a　truffle　into　her　mouth。　Then　she　noticed　Serena　and　her　brown　eyes　
grew　wide；　like　a　child　caught　with　her　hand　in　the　cookie　jar。　

Serena　fought　back　a　fit　of　giggles；　suddenly　feeling　like　a　balloon　with　too　much　air　in　it。　How　
bizarre　life　was。　She　grinned　at　Mrs。　M　and　snatched　a　truffle　from　the　tin　as　she　hurried　toward　
the　school　exit。　


Oh；　the　things　we　seniors　get　away　with。　Now；　run；　baby；run！！　

N？s　new　drug　of　choice　

The　final　lacrosse　team　party　of　the　year　was　in　the　St。　Jude？s　gym；　which　was　kind　of　lame；　
since　it　was　like　eighty　degrees　outside；　and　a　party　in　the　park　would　have　been　much　better。　But　
the　boys　were　all　underage；　and　so　a　few　six…packs　in　the　gym　and　some　pizza　was　all　Coach　
Michaels　would　allow。　Besides；　the　boys　had　all　gotten　high　at　Jeremy　Scott　Tompkinson？s　house　
beforehand　and　would　all　go　on　to　get　trashed　someplace　else　afterwards；　so　what　did　it　matter？　

Nate　picked　at　his　pizza　and　squeezed　his　eyelids　shut。　The　last　lax　party　of　the　year。　The　last　lax　
partyever　。　Damn。　The　tears　were　already　beginning　to　fall。　

The　gym　was　up　on　the　roof　of　the　six…story　East　End　Avenue　redbrick　school　building；　with　
giant　plate　glass　windows　overlooking　the　shimmering　East　River　and　Queens。　One　afternoon　near　
the　end　of　tenth　grade；　Nate；　Jeremy；　Anthony　Avuldsen；　and　Charlie　Dern　had　volunteered　to　put　
away　the　gear　after　lax　practice。　They？d　hung　out　for　a　while　shooting　hoops　and　then　hidden　from　
Rick；　the　janitor；　behind　the　giant　metal　rack　where　the　balls　were　stored。　When　Rick　was　done　
and　the　lights　went　out；　they？d　lined　up　in　front　of　the　windows？right　where　Nate　was　standing　
now？watched　the　sun　set；　smoked　some　weed；　and　eaten　Starbursts　until　nine。　An　alarm　had　gone　
off　when　they　finally　left　the　building；　but　they？d　sprinted　to　Carl　Schurz　Park　a　few　blocks　away　
and　had　never　gotten　caught。　That　had　been　a　good　time。　Now　the　good　times　were　about　to　be　
over。　Maybe　they　already　were。　

Nate？s　eyes　scanned　the　horizon　above　the　silvery　water　and　low　industrial　buildings。　
Somewhere　southwest　of　Queens　was　Williamsburg；　Brooklyn；　where　Blair　lived　now。　He　
wondered　what　she　was　doing。　Standing　on　her　roof；　maybe；　smoking　a　Merit　Ultra　Light　and　
sticking　thumbtacks　into　the　little　voodoo　dolls　she？d　probably　made　of　him　and　Serena。　

Don？t　flatter　yourself；　honey。　

Nate　flicked　the　tears　away　from　his　gorgeous　green　eyes　with　his　thumb　and　dropped　his　barely　
touched　slice　of　pepperoni　pizza　into　the　garbage。　Anthony　came　over；　slung　his　thick…muscled　
arm　around　Nate？s　shoulders；　and　kissed　him　on　the　cheek　with　mock　tenderness。　？What？s　the　
matter；　sweetheart？？　

？Fuck　off；？　Nate　replied；　jabbing　Anthony　in　the　ribs。　

His　friend　refused　to　be　shaken　off　so　easily。　？Will　you　just　drink　a　beer　with　us　and　stop　moping　
already？？　An　overgrown　hank　of　white…blond　hair　swung　over　Anthony？s　freckled　face　and　he　


brushed　it　away。　？Dude；　it？s　party　time！？　

Nate　laughed　and　allowed　himself　to　be　shepherded　over　to　where　the　other　guys　were　standing；　
drinking　beer　and　listening　to　the　coach　talk。　Jeremy　hitched　up　his　way…too…big　dark　blue　Levi？s　
and　tossed　Nate　a　bottle　of　Heineken。　？Hey；　did　you　hear　this？　Every　Wednesday　after　practice　
Coach　has　been　popping　Viagra　and　meeting　his　wife　at　the　Pierre　Hotel。？　He　cracked　open　
another　bottle　for　himself　and　took　a　long　swig。　？Who　would　have　thunk。？　

Coach　Michaels　stuck　his　hands　into　the　pockets　of　his　ever…present　red　Lands？　End　windbreaker；　
looking　pleased　with　himself。　？Who　says　we　can？t　enjoy　ourselves？？　

Nate　raised　his　bottle　in　silent　answer　to　the　coach？s　question　and　chugged　half　its　contents。　
Coach　Michaels　had　all　the　gruff；　fatherly　qualities　a　guy　could　wish　for　in　a　coach；　but　Nate　had　
never　had　much　affection　for　him。　The　coach　had　made　him　captain　halfway　into　the　season　only　
because　the　junior　who　was　supposed　to　be　captain　went　mysteriously　AWOL　from　school。　And　
the　coach　had　yet　to　congratulate　Nate　on　getting　into　Yale；　Brown；and　Harvard。　It　didn？t　surprise　
Nate　that　the　coach　needed　Viagra　to　get　it　on。　He　was　sort　of　a　cold　fish。　

Not　that　Nate　was　one　to　judge。　After　the　trunk　show　at　the　St。　Claire　that　morning　Serena　had　
been　all　over　him；　but　instead