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to　watch　Vonda　weed　their　heirloom　tomato　collection　wearing　only　the　red　embroidered　halter　
top　Mrs。　M　had　bought　for　her　at　a　craft　fair　last　weekend。　


？Take　your　seats；　girls；？　she　ordered；　dismissing　Blair　and　Serena。　

They　walked　back　to　the　pews。　There　was　no　room　for　Serena；　so　she　perched　on　Vanessa？s　
knee。　

？You　have　my　blessings。？　Mrs。　M　blew　the　seniors　a　kiss。　？And　now；　class　is　dismissed！？　

　Whooopppeeee！　

her　heart　is　on　some　other　boy？s　sleeve　

After　the　ceremony；　Nate　did　a　few　bong　hits　with　the　other　boys　in　the　billiard　room　over　at　
Jeremy？s；　but　his　heart　wasn？t　in　it。　They　were　all　high　school　graduates；　while　he　was　
still　？diploma　pending。？　Whatever　the　fuck　that　meant。　

Leaving　them　to　celebrate　without　him；　he　meandered　slowly　west　on　Eighty…sixth　Street　toward　
home；　thankful　that　his　parents　had　been　so　pissed　off　at　him　for　that　goddamned　asterisk　that　
they？d　gone　straight　up　to　Mt。　Desert　Island　for　the　week；　leaving　him　in　peace。　Up　in　his　room；　
he　began　to　sort　through　his　cedar　walk…in　closet。　On　the　shelf　above　the　clothes　rail；　behind　that　
ridiculous　Darth　Vader　head　he？d　worn　for　Halloween　two　years　in　a　row　back　in　fourth　and　fifth　
grade；　was　the　little　mahogany　pirate？s　treasure　chest　with　the　brass　lock　that　his　uncle　Gerard　had　
given　him　when　he　was　eight；　where　Nate　stowed　all　his　old　photographs。　He　grabbed　the　clothes　
rail　with　one　hand　and　used　it　to　steady　himself　as　he　scaled　the　closet　wall　with　his　bare　feet；　
trying　to　get　the　fucker　down。　

The　chest　spilled　open　on　the　floor。　There　he　was　on　a　fishing　boat　in　Prince　William　Sound　up　in　
Alaska　two　Augusts　ago　with　his　arm　around　his　dad；　both　smiling　like　losers　and　wearing　dirty　
yellow　foul…weather　gear。　That　was　the　best　time　he　and　his　dad　had　ever　had　together。　Fishing　in　
the　weird　eleven　o？clock　twilight；　surrounded　by　ghostly　glaciers；　and　sharing　a　flask　of　Scotch　on　
their　way　back　into　port。　Then　there　were　the　pictures　of　him　and　Blair。　He　looking　bored　and　
sleepy　and　embarrassed；　with　his　head　on　her　rose…colored　pillows；　and　she　looking　crazily　
ecstatic；　with　her　cheek　pressed　violently　into　his　ear　as　she　held　her　camera　in　front　of　their　faces　
and　snapped　the　pictures　herself。　

Then　there　was　the　picture　of　Serena？s　elegant；　tanned　foot　with　the　wordsMiss　you　written　on　it　
in　purple　marker　that　she？d　sent　him　last　year　while　she　was　still　up　at　boarding　school。　Nate　had　
kept　it；　loving　her　sexy　silver　toe　ring；　and　loving　how　he　knew　it　was　from　her；　even　though　she　
hadn？t　sent　it　with　a　note　or　used　a　return　address　or　anything。　He　held　the　photograph　in　his　hands；　
trying　to　invoke　that　tingly；　turned…on　feeling　he？d　felt　when　he？d　gotten　it　in　the　mail；　but　now　it　
was　just　a　silly　old　photograph　that　didn？t　really　invoke　anything。　


He　glanced　at　the　photo　of　him　and　Blair　again；　missing　the　way　they　used　to　kick　around　
together　doing　stupid　things；　like　drinking　way　too　many　vodka　tonics　before　a　movie　and　then　
running　out　during　the　previews　because　they　couldn？t　stop　laughing。　Her　
new…shoe…and…Kiehl？s…cucumber…skin…cream　smell。　The　way　she　was　so　sexy　when　she　was　
throwing　a　fit。　He　wanted　her　to　sit　on　his　lap。　He　wanted　her　hands　in　his　pockets。　He　wanted　her　
to　call　him　at　seven　o？clock　in　the　morning　on　a　Sunday　because　she　was　hyper　and　couldn？t　wait　
for　him　to　wake　up。　

He　tossed　the　photos　back　in　the　pirate？s　chest　and　closed　the　lid。　Hanging　on　the　clothes　rail　
inside　a　clear　plastic　bag　was　the　moss　green　cashmere　sweater　Blair　had　given　him　last　spring。　
The　maid　had　sent　it　to　the　dry　cleaners　so　it　would　be　ready　for　Nate　to　wear　at　Yale　in　the　fall。　
Nate　ripped　open　the　bag　and　felt　inside　the　sweater？s　right　sleeve。　No；　maybe　it　was　the　left。　Yes；　
there　it　was。　The　tiny　gold　heart　pendant　Blair　had　sewn　inside　it　so　that　he　would　always　be　
wearing　her　heart　on　his　sleeve。　Blair　probably　thought　he　hadn？t　noticed　the　heart；　but　he　wore　
the　sweater　so　much；　how　could　he　not　have？　He　loved　that　sweater。　

Sounds　like　the　love　went　beyond　knitwear。　

Tears　began　to　seep　out　of　the　corners　of　Nate？s　green　eyes　as　he　grasped　the　gold　heart　pendant　
between　his　thumb　and　forefinger　and　ripped　it　out　of　the　sweater？s　sleeve。　His　phone　rang　before　
he　could　decide　what　to　do　next。　

Hopefully　nothing　too　rash。

　？Hello？？　

？It？s　been　a　rocky　year　for　you；　son；？　Coach　Michaels　barked　on　the　other　end　of　the　line。　？I　
thought　you　were　over　all　that　drug　nonsense。　Then　you　have　to　go　and　steal　my　damned　Viagra？　
What？s　wrong　with　you；　boy？？　

？I？m　sorry；？　Nate　mumbled　almost　inaudibly。　He　was　already　crying。　Coach　couldn？t　make　him　
feel　much　worse。　

？I　had　a　long　talk　with　Dr。　Nesbitt　and　your　dad　after　the　ceremony；？　Coach　continued；　？and　
you？re　one　lucky　kid。？　

Lucky？It　wasn？t　exactly　the　first　word　that　came　to　Nate？s　mind。　

？Withholding　your　diploma　was　just　a　little　slap　on　the　wrist　to　let　you　know　you　can？t　get　away　
with　stealing　my　stuff；　especially　my　medication。　Your　real　punishment　es　this　summer。　I？ve　
got　a　place　out　in　the　Hamptons　that　could　use　some　fixing　up。　So　if　you　want　to　play　lacrosse　for　
Yale　next　year；　you　gotta　be　my　boy　this　summer。　Live　over　the　garage；　work　for　me；　and　in　your　
spare　time；　you？ll　be　going　to　the　local　church　for　AA　meetings。？　


Nate　swallowed　hard。　He？d　imagined　a　lazy　summer　up　in　Maine　getting　tan　and　helping　his　dad　
with　the　boats；　but　he　had　no　choice。　He　had　to　be　the　coach？s　Hamptons　bitch　for　the　
summer。　？Sorry　for　being　such　a　dick；　Coach；？　he　said　earnestly。　？I　promise　to　make　it　up　to　you。？　

Coach　Michaels　chuckled。　？Then　at　least　you？ll　be　a　dick　with　a　diploma！？　

Nate　forced　himself　to　chuckle　along　with　the　old　man。　Things　were　going　to　be　okay；　he　told　
himself。　He？d　have　his　diploma　by　the　end　of　the　summer。　

？Thanks；　Coach。？　He　hung　up　and　opened　his　damp　hand　to　look　at　the　gold　heart　pendant。　

Well；some　things　were　going　to　be　okay。　

He　sighed　the　sort　of　shuddering；　exhausted　sigh　that　es　after　a　long　cry　and　tossed　the　heart　
onto　his　neatly　made　bed。　Then　he　went　back　to　rummaging　through　his　closet。　He　was　supposed　
to　meet　Serena　at　Blair？s　Yale　Club　party　at　seven　o？clock。　Maybe　she？d　e　up　with　a　way　to　
makeeverything　okay。　

　Without　any　Viagra。　

Will　j　resort　to　homeschooling？　

？I　guess　I　failed　to　raise　you　properly。？　Rufus　sighed　heavily　as　he　stared　into　a　troughlike　glass　
of　red　wine。　The　way　he　saw　it；　you　had　two　choices　in　this　city。　Either　you　spent　an　arm　and　a　leg　
to　send　your　kids　to　private　school；　where　they　learned　to　shop　for　insanely　expensive　clothes　and　
to　be　snobbish　to　their　father；　but　also　to　converse　in　Latin；　memorize　Keats；　and　do　algorithms　in　
their　heads；　or；　you　sent　them　to　public　school；　where　they　might　not　learn　to　read；　might　not　
graduate；　and　risked　getting　shot。　He？d　thought　he？d　done　the　right　thing。　But　now　it　looked　like　
neither　of　his　kids　was　going　to　any　school　of　any　kind　next　year。　

？You　didn？t　fail；　Dad；？　Dan　corrected　as　he　scarfed　down　a　forkful　of　sesame　noodles。　Rufus　and　
Jenny　had　waited　outside　Hunan　92　on　Ninety…second　and　Amsterdam　while　he　went　in　to　buy　
some　celebratory　takeout。　He？d　stayed　up　all　night　working　on　his　speech；　drinking　instant　coffee　
after　instant　coffee　and　smoking　Camel　after　Camel。　If　he　didn？t　eat　something；　he　wasn？t　going　
to　make　it　to　any　party　later。　Now　they　were　home；　sitting　at　the　dining　room　table；　staring　at　one　
another；　with　an　unopened　bottle　of　champagne　on　the　table。　It　was　a　Monday　and　barely　four　
o？clock？an　odd　time　to　all　be　home　together。　

？At　least　he　got　into　college；？　Jenny　put　in　glumly。　She？d　worn　a　new　stretchy　
lavender…and…pale…yellow　Pucci　print　wrap　dress　to　Dan？s　graduation；　and　there　were　two　huge　


damp　spots　under　each　pendulous　boob　from　where　she？d　sweated　in　the　heat。　She　felt　disgusting　
and　was　particularly　resentful　of　her　brother　and　father　for　being　in　such　equally　bad　moods　that　
they　weren？t　even　going　to　try　to　cheer　her　up。　She　thought　about　calling　Elise；　but　she　was　at　her　
country　house　in　Cape　Cod；　and　she？d　only　make　Jenny　feel　worse　by　moping　about　the　fact　that　
they　were　going　to　be　apart　next　year。　That　is；　if　Jenny　was　actually　going　anywhere　next　year。　As　
things　stood；　she　might　have　to　be　homeschooled。　

She　glanced　at　her　father。　In　an　effort　to　fit　in　with　the　other　fathers；　he？d　worn　a　suit　to　Dan？s　
graduation；　but　it　was　black　wool？too　warm　for　June；　and　all　wrong　with　the　weirdly　trendy；　
tight…fitting　pumpkin　orange　shirt　he？d　borrowed　from　Dan　to　wear　underneath　it。　He？d　yanked　
out　the　orange　ribbon　in　his　fury；　and　his　wiry　salt…and…pepper　hair　was　now　fashioned　into　a　sort　
of　messy　chignon；　held　together　with　the　electric　blue　magnetic　bulldog　clip　they　used　to　keep　
their　takeout　menus　on　the　door　of　the　refrigerator。　To　make　things　worse；　there　were　stray　pieces　
of　pink　towel　lint　in　his　beard。　

Maybe　homeschooling　wasn？t　such　a　great　idea。　

？Isn？t　there　someplace　you　kids　need　to　be？？　Rufus　asked；　downing　the　remains　of　his　wine。　
Obviously；　one　glass　wouldn？t　be　nearly　enough。　

？e　on；　Dad；？　Dan　plained。　？It？s　not　like　I？m　never　going　to　college。　I　just　deferred　for　a　
year；　that？s　all。？　

Rufus　reached　for　the　uncorked　bottle　of　Sangiovese　in　the　middle　of　the　table　and　poured　
himself　some　more。　？I　just　spent　eighty　thousand　dollars　on　your　high　school　education；　all　
borrowed；　so　it？ll　probably　be　double　with　interest。　Excuse　me　for　not　being　ecstatic。？　His　gray　
eyebrows　knitted　together　in　a　furry　single　line。　？Does　Vanessa　even　know　about　this？？　he　
demanded　suspiciously。　

Dan　ripped　open　a　clear　plastic　packet　of　fluorescent　orange　duck　sauce　with　his　teeth　and　
squirted　it　onto　an　egg　roll。　？Not　really。？　

Jenny　and　Rufus　both　stared　at　him　in　shocked　surprise。　

Dan　looked　up。　？What？？　

？Idiot；？　Jenny　breathed　across　the　table　at　him。　She？d　worked　with　Vanessa　Abrams　onRancor　；　
the　Constance　student…run　arts　magazine；　and　had　hung　out　with　her　enough　times　to　know　that　
she　was　fiercely　independent　and　not　at　all　into　this　sort　of　lovesick…puppy…dog　shit　Dan　was　
pulling。　Besides；　wasn？t　she　supposed　to　be　going　out　with　Blair　Waldorf？s　stepbrother　
now？　？Idiot；？　she　muttered　again。　

Rufus　didn？t　say　anything。　He　just　picked　up　his　glass　of　wine；　carried　it　out　of　the　dining　room；　
down　the　hall；　and　into　his　office；　slamming　the　door　shut　behind　him。　


Dan　shrugged　his　shoulders　and　opened　up　another　packet　of　duck　sauce。　？I　really　don？t　know　
what　everyone？s　problem　is。？　

Jenny　was　about　to　tell　him　what　an　ignorant；　presumptuous　asshole　he　was　when　her　baby　blue　
Nokia　began　to　jingle　with　the　first　few　notes　of　？Happy　Birthday　to　You；？　the　Raves　recording　
she？d　sung　backup　for。　She　bit　her　lip；　still　glaring　at　Dan　with　her　big　brown　eyes。　

？It？s　your　phone。　You　better　answer　it；？　Dan　told　her　with　his　mouth　full。　

？Fine。？　Jenny　reached　into　her　imitation？Louis　Vuitton　Calla　Lily　purse　and　pressed　the　yes　
button　on　her　phone。　It　was　probably　Elise；　calling　her　from　Cape　Cod　to　plain　about　how　
bored　she　was　of　eating　lobster　with　her　parents。　？Just　to　warn　you；　I？m　in　a　really　bad　mood；？　
Jenny　said　in　greeting。　

There　was　silence　on　the　other　end。　

？Hello？？　Jenny　demanded　impatiently。　

？Yes？　Is　this　Jennifer　Humphrey？？　a　polite　male　voice　replied。　

　Oops。　

She　sat　up　straight　in　her　chair。　？Speaking。？　

Jenny　reminded　Dan　of　someone　just　then；　but　he　couldn？t　quite　place　who。　Their　mother；　maybe？　
Except　the　only　real　memory　he　had　of　his　mother　was　of　her　trying　to　teach　him　how　to　tie　a　tie　
when　he　was　only　five。　He？d　kept　messing　up　because　her　perfume　was　so　pungent；　it　had　made　
him　dizzy。　

？This　is　Thaddeus　Moore；　director　of　admissions　at　Waverly　Prep；？　the　man　introduced　
himself。　？Do　you　have　a　moment？？　

　Did　she　ever！　

？Yes；？　she　answered　cautiously；　her　heart　beating　so　hard；　she　could　practically　feel　her　ribs　
cracking。　Dan？s　pack　of　Camel　filters　was　sitting　on　the　table。　She　reached　for　them　and　pulled　
one　out；　tapping　it　on　the　tabletop　like　a　veteran　smoker。　If　only　her　dad