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Boys　will　be　boys　and　girls　will　be　girls　

？I　heard　about　you。　You？re　the　kid　who？s　to　take　my　place　on　the　Yale　lacrosse　team。　Excuse　me；　
ladies。？　Lord　Marcus　reached　across　Blair　and　Serena　to　clasp　Nate？s　hand　in　the　cramped　
backseat　of　the　cab　as　it　raced　down　the　hot　Park　Avenue　blacktop。　？Coach　said　you　were　a　maniac　
with　a　stick。？　

That？s　one　way　of　putting　it。　

Nate　hoped　Lord　Marcus　wouldn？t　guess　that　he？d　been　crying。　Now　would？ve　been　a　good　time　
to　take　another　Viagra；　just　to　give　him　an　ego　boost　and　keep　the　tears　from　flowing。　If　it　hadn？t　
been　for　those　annoying　side　effects；　he？d　have　taken　it　every　day。　

What；　like　the　major　hard…ons？　But　that？s　not　a　side　effect；　that？s　the　whole　point！　

？So　is　Yale；　like；　seriously　tough　or　what？？　Nate　asked；　because　it　was　the　only　thing　he　could　
think　of　to　say。　Blair　had　her　head　on　Lord　Marcus？s　shoulder；　and　she　looked　so　fortable；　it　
was　sort　of　unsettling　and　nice　to　see　at　the　same　time。　Her　dark　hair　was　growing　out　and　it　
looked　so　soft　and　shiny；　Nate　could　almost　feel　it　in　his　hands。　

Oh；　please。　Don？t　cry。　

？Not　as　hard　as　Coach　Heffner？s　arse；？　Lord　Marcus　joked。　？She　told　us　all　about　how　she　
stabbed　you　with　a　fork　when　you　tried　to　hit　on　her。？　

Nate　had　pretty　much　blocked　that　little　episode　out　of　his　mind；　and　he　flinched；　
remembering。　？I　just　wasn？t　expecting　a　hot　female　coach；？　he　admitted。　

？Believe　me；　none　of　us　were；？　Lord　Marcus　replied　with　a　knowing　smile。　He　lit　a　Marlboro　
Red；　but　the　tiny；　shriveled　cabdriver　flapped　his　hand　in　annoyance；　so　he　threw　it　out　the　
window。　

？Let？s　all　light　cigarettes　and　see　what　he　does；？　Serena　whispered；　still　feeling　giddy。　She　
handed　out　four　Merit　Ultra　Lights　from　her　black　suede　Balenciaga　fringed　hobo　bag　and　Lord　
Marcus　helped　her　light　them　with　a　silver　Tiffany　lighter。　

The　driver　screeched　to　a　halt　when　he　noticed　the　smoke。　？Get　out　of　my　cab！？　he　shouted；　his　


tiny；　shriveled　fists　raised　in　anger。　

Lord　Marcus；　ever　the　polite　Englishman；　began　to　apologize；　pretending　he　didn？t　know　it　was　
illegal　to　smoke　in　American　taxis。　But　they　were　already　on　Park　Avenue　and　Forty…seventh　
Street；　just　around　the　corner　from　the　Yale　Club；　so　they　got　out　anyway。　

What　a　sight：　a　lovely　brunette　dressed　exactly　like　Audrey　Hepburn　inBreakfast　at　Tiffany？s　；　
two　handsome；　green…eyed；　lacrosse…playing；　neatly　dressed　boys；　and　a　heart…wrenchingly　
gorgeous　blonde　in　jeans。　The　Yale　Club？s　dress　code　forbade　distressed　denim；　but　Serena　looked　
so　pretty　in　her　jeans；　no　one　cared。　As　soon　as　they　stepped　into　the　club？s　sparse；　neoclassical　
lobby；　all　the　middle…aged　Yale　alums　in　J。Press　suits　stopped　talking　business　and　switched　off　
their　BlackBerrys。　Oh；　to　be　seventeen　and　irresistible！　

As　if　any　of　them　were　ever　this　irresistible。　

Lord　Marcus　took　Nate　up　to　his　suite　to　show　him　some　lacrosse　trophy　that　only　Nate　would　
appreciate；　while　Blair　led　Serena　into　the　club？s　lounge；　where　they　settled　in　at　the　elegant　bar　
with　its　gold　ceiling；　polished　wood　floor；　and　dark　wood　paneling。　Of　course　they　were　used　to　
going　out　all　the　time；　but　it　still　felt　extremely　grown…up　to　be　out　at　a　private　club　bar　on　a　
Saturday　morning；　especially　when　they　were　supposed　to　be　glued　to　their　textbooks；　studying　for　
their　final　exams；　which　would　begin　on　Monday。　

？So；　what　are　you　going　to　say　in　your　graduation　speech？？　Serena　asked　Blair。　？What？s　that　Dr。　
Seuss　book？you　know　the　one　everyone　always　quotes　from？？　

Blair　rolled　her　eyes。　She　was　sonot　quoting　from　that　book。？Oh；　The　Places　You？ll　Go！？　

The　bow…tied　bartender　brought　Blair？s　drink　first？a　Ketel　One　martini　straight　up　with　an　olive。　
She　took　a　sip　and　then　stuck　a　cigarette　into　her　cigarette　holder。　She　was　enjoying　the　whole　
cigarette　holder　thing　so　much；　she　planned　to　use　it　right　up　untilBreakfast　at　Fred？s　came　out　
and　all　the　girls　started　copying　her。　

Ergo；　the　difference　between　being　trendy　and　being　a　trendsetter。　

？Actually；　I？m　going　to　write　about　going　after　what　you　want　and　getting　it；？　she　declared；　
blowing　smoke　over　the　top　of　Serena？s　pale　blond　head。　？I　never　thought　I？d　get　absolutely　
everything　I　wanted。　But　I　kept　trying；　anyway；　and　now　I　have　it。Everything　。？　

Serena　nodded。　？I　know　what　you　mean。？　The　bartender　brought　her　Tanqueray　gin　fizz　and　she　
took　a　few　tentative　sips；　wondering　if　she　should　tell　Blair　right　now　that　when　Ken　Mogul？s　
assistant　had　whispered　in　her　ear；　she？d　asked　Serena　back　for　a　second　audition。　But　things　were　
going　so　well　with　Blair　at　the　moment；　she　didn？t　want　to　ruin　it。　Besides；　even　if　she　wound　up　
being　offered　the　part；　she　wasn？t　sure　she　wanted　it。　She　tried　to　think　of　something　else　to　say；　
something　about　getting　what　she？d　always　wanted；　even　though　she？d　never　really　wanted　


anything？things　just　fell　into　her　lap。　

？I？m　so　in　love　with　Nate；？　she　blurted　out；　trying　to　sound　as　thrilled　with　the　way　things　had　
turned　out　as　Blair　did。　

Blair　lit　the　end　of　her　cigarette。　How　easy　it　would　be　to　accidentally　set　fire　to　Serena？s　long　
black　eyelashes。　She　surveyed　the　room；　trying　to　decide　whether　or　not　to　let　her　temper　get　the　
better　of　her。　

Whoa；　she？sthinking　about　it？　Is　this　a　turning　point？！　

Blair　loved　the　Yale　Club　lounge。　The　gold…leaf　paint　and　oriental　carpets　made　it　feel　grand　and　
exclusive；　but　it　was　more　fortable　and　less　stodgy　than　some　of　the　other　rooms　in　the　club。　
The　lounge　was　the　perfect　place　to　escape　from　the　heat。　And　it　went　with　her　dress。　？Pretty　soon　
we？ll　all　be　at　Yale；？　she　mused。　

The　two　girls　stared　at　each　other；　their　blue　eyes　locked；　trying　to　decide　whether　that　was　a　
good　thing　or　a　bad　thing。　

Serena　giggled。　？And　we　can　take　the　train　back　to　the　city　and　stay　here；　and　our　parents　won？t　
even　know　we？re　in　town！？　

That　does　sound　like　fun。　

？This　would　be　such　a　great　place　to　have　a　party；？　Blair　chimed　in；　deciding　to　be　nice。　She　
blinked；　wondering　why　she　hadn？t　thought　of　it　before。　Of　course；　it　meant　there？d　be　a　lot　of　
random　crashers？other　seniors　from　dopey　schools　that　she　didn？t　even　know；　and　random　juniors　
who　thought　they　were　cool　now　because　they　were　going　to　be　seniors　next　year。　But　she　was　
Constance　Billard？s　graduation　speaker。　It　made　perfect　sense　that　she　should　host　a　graduation　
party？thegraduation　party。　

She　gave　Serena　a　stiff　hug；　barely　keeping　her　cigarette　holder　aloft　to　avoid　setting　fire　to　her　
hair。　？We　always　have　the　best　ideas；？　she　murmured；　half　to　herself　and　half　to　her　old　friend。　

Serena　smiled　eagerly；　even　though　she　had　no　idea　which　ideas　Blair　was　referring　to。　？Don？t　
we？？　she　agreed。　

Nate　had　brought　a　couple　of　prerolled　joints　along　with　him。　He　and　Lord　Marcus　made　
themselves　fortable　in　the　lord？s　gold…and…white…wallpapered　suite；　blasting　the　AC　as　they　
lay　on　their　backs　on　the　king…size；　apricot…colored　bedspread；　puffing　away　and　trading　secrets　
about　Blair。　

See；　boys　really　are　worse　than　girls。　


？She　acts　all　grumpy　when　you　e　on　to　her；　and　then　she　plains　when　you　don？t；？　Nate　
plained；　shaking　his　head。　？I　never　understood　that。？　

？But　as　long　as　you　let　her　know　she？s　irresistible；　she　can？t　make　a　fuss；？　Lord　Marcus　pointed　
out。　？That？s　what？s　crucial。？　

Nate　turned　his　head　to　look　at　the　older　boy　through　a　haze　of　pot　smoke。　He？d　known　Blair　
practically　since　he　was　born。　How　e　this　guy；　who？d　only　just　met　her；　seemed　to　have　her　all　
figured　out？　Was　it　possible　that　he　and　Blair　were　totally　inpatible？　Maybe　they　were　actually　
never　meant　to　be。　

Nate　couldn？t　think　about　it　anymore　without　having　a　major　sob　attack。　Instead；　he　took　another　
hit　and　allowed　his　mind　to　go　heavenly　blank。　

？I？m　thinking　of　asking　Blair　to　e　over　to　England　to　visit　for　the　summer；？　Lord　Marcus　
mused　aloud。　？I？ve　told　my　family　all　about　her　and　they？re　desperate　to　meet　her。　Apparently　my　
dad　knows　her　dad。　And　my　mum？s　already　got　us　married　off。？　

Nate　took　another　hit。　No　need　to　get　upset。　His　mind　was　as　smooth；　white；　and　wrinkle…free　as　
the　800…thread…count　pillow　shams　on　Lord　Marcus？s　bed。　

Lord　Marcus　finished　off　his　joint　and　sat　up；　stubbing　it　out　neatly　on　the　sole　of　his　
amber…colored　Tod？s　lace…ups。　？The　ladies　will　be　wondering　where　we　are。？　He　clapped　Nate　on　
the　shoulder。　？Shall　we　go；　then？？　

Nate　sat　up　on　his　elbows　and　shook　his　head　blearily；　like　a　dog。　A　stray　tear　seeped　out　of　the　
corner　of　his　left　eye　and　trickled　down　his　cheek。　He　swatted　it　away　angrily；　but　then　another　
one　began　to　trickle　out　of　the　corner　of　his　right　eye。　

？Are　you　all　right？？　Lord　Marcus　asked。　？Do　you　need　a　minute？？　

Nate　shrugged；　and　then　his　lower　lip　began　to　tremble。　

Lord　Marcus　sat　down　next　to　him　and　pulled　Nate　into　his　arms。　？There；　there；？　he　
murmured。　？You？re　all　right。？　

This　wasn？t　the　pretend　gay　affection　that　Nate　and　his　friends　used　to　drive　one　another　nuts。　
This　was　the　real　thing：　a　big…brotherly　hug。　Nate　had　never　had　a　big　brother；　or　any　siblings　for　
that　matter；　and　the　hug　was　exactly　what　he　needed。　

？Mon　p？re　habite　en　France　dans　le　Loire。　Il　aime　des　autres　hommes。　Il　est　un　fag！？Blair　
shrieked；　and　she　and　Serena　burst　into　a　fit　of　giggles。　

？Qu？est…ce　que　vous　faites；　mes　cheries？？Lord　Marcus　called　out　as　he　and　Nate　approached。　


？We？re　conversing　in　French。　There？s　an　oral　part　to　my　AP　exam。　We　have　to　talk　about　our　
family　for　ten　minutes；？　Blair　explained。　？Using　all　the　tenses。？　

Serena　rolled　her　eyes。　？That？s　what　you　get　for　taking　APs。？　She　squinted　at　the　two　boys。　？Hey；　
are　you　two　stoned？？　

　Nate　grinned　sheepishly。　？Slightly。？　

？You　big　idiot。？　Serena　grabbed　him　and　kissed　him　smack　on　the　lips；　bubbling　over　with　relief　
that　she　and　Blair　were　talking　again。　

Blair　was　so　fine　with　seeing　Serena　and　Nate　kiss　right　in　front　of　her；　she　didn？t　budge。　Within　
seconds　Lord　Marcus　had　slipped　behind　her　and　wrapped　his　arms　sexily　around　her　waist？the　
sort　of　husbandlike；　proprietary　gesture　Blair　had　always　dreamed　about。　He　winked　at　
Serena。　？Did　you　knowSerena　meansmermaid　in　Italian？？　

？Yeah；？　Serena　giggled　and　then　flashed　Blair　a　look　that　said；Where？d　you　findhim；　anyway？　

Blair　returned　the　look　with　a　smug　smile　that　was　a　bination　ofSee；　I　told　you　I　had　
everything　andHands　off；　bitchface　。　

Nate　licked　the　taste　of　Serena？s　vanilla…scented　MAC　lip　gloss　off　his　lips　and　then　downed　the　
rest　of　her　gin　fizz；　his　eyes　on　Blair？s　perfect；　lightly　tanned　feet。　Something　about　the　way　they　
looked　in　those　shiny；　flat　black　shoes　was　making　him　seriously　horny。　

Good　thing　he　left　the　Viagra　at　home。　

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Disclaimer：　All　the　real　names　of　places；　people；　and　events　have　been　altered　or　abbreviated　to　
protect　the　innocent。　Namely；　me。　

　hey　people！　

A　not…so…private　party　at　the　yale　club　

In　case　you　were　feeling　left　out　of　Saturday？s　Yale　Club　all…day…and…all…night　festival　of　


debauchery？they　certainly　kept　the　staff　busy　trotting　over　to　Grand　Central　for　more　Prosecco　
from　the　Campbell　Apartment　and　cheesecake　from　Junior？s？a　certain　Yalie…to…be　will　host　the　
graduation　party　of　a　lifetime　at　the　club　next　Monday　night。　The　Yale　Club　is　strictly　
members…only；　but　never　fear。　Yalie　Daddy　has　paid　the　club　handsomely　to　keeps　its　doors　open　
all　night　long　to　any　well…dressed　merrymaker　who　wanders　in　looking　for　more　ways　to　make　
merry。　It？s　his　way　of　apologizing　to　his　daughter　for　not　being　there　in　the　flesh。　Aw；　how　sweet。　

Let？s　hope　he　doesn？t　forget　that　she　will　also　need　some　way　of　getting　around　New　Haven　next　
year。　Vroom；　vroom。　

　Postbreakfast　depression　

Ken　Mogul　is　either　extremely　fussy；　extremely　mean；　or　both。　Rumor　has　it　that　only　four　girls　
were　called　back　for　a　second　audition　for　the　lead　r